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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2015 17:13:29 GMT -5
Ever since Handsome has passed its been really hard for me. I've had other pets pass away before but for some reason this one has been hitting me really hard. People don't understand they just say "he's just a pet" and my boyfriend says you'll be fine. So I've been mourning by myself hidden. I'll cry at night in bed before Brad comes to bed and when ever I'm alone I'll let the sadness show but I'm tired of explain to people or defending my feelings so I pretend I'm happy arpund everyone else. Is it crazy that I'm still feeling this sad? I had him cremated and I got the ashes back the other day and I thought it would make me feel a little better because he was home with us where he belongs but it hasn't changed anything. I dunno maybe I'm just being silly and should just stop crying and be great ful I gave him love and was able to give him a happy home after the terrible home I saved him from but it's just not going away.
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Post by FireAngel on Jun 5, 2015 17:38:26 GMT -5
There's always that one special pet that we bond with like no other and you deserve to have your time to grieve for him. It does let up eventually and one day you'll realize you went a whole hour without feeling sad and missing him, then you'll feel guilty and that's normal too. One day you'll be able to think of him and a silly thing he did and you'll smile to yourself and still miss him but you'll still be smiling because while you miss him you will know he is dooking and dancing in a happy place. Take the time you need, do not let anyone else dictate that to you.
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Post by Sherry on Jun 5, 2015 18:10:00 GMT -5
It is going to take a long time to process your loss. Most of us seem to mourn these wee ones like children. Don't push yourself. You will get past it in time, and smile through the tears at the thoughts of his antics one day
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2015 18:50:24 GMT -5
After the loss of our first dog, it took my husband over a year to let me get another. I insisted that we will never have only one again. I can't stand the empty house feeling.
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Post by unclejoe on Jun 5, 2015 19:52:47 GMT -5
My first ferret escaped, probably through a door that was left open by careless teenage boys, and was never found. For 2 weeks I would search the neighborhood before and after work. Sometimes I cried while doing it, but always every night after I had given up for the day. I'm a guy, and I was in my late 40s at the time. Bella wasn't even really a people ferret, but I had grown so attached to her and to caring for her. That says something about how these little wiener cats get under the skin of us ferret folk.
I'm sorry for your loss.
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Post by Heather on Jun 5, 2015 20:36:28 GMT -5
Don't ever let anyone tell you how to mourn or tell you you've mourned enough. Only you know that. Ferrets are little thieves but what we don't realize is that the one thing they steal we never suspected they had until they're gone...our hearts. Consider this and it's an exercise you do when you're ready....celebrate...celebrate his life, the fun you shared, the love. You will cry but each time you will smile a bit more. You see our little princes and princesses of thieves never wanted us to cry but to celebrate their love. Your little one is always there, in that little corner of your heart and no one or nothing can take that away. In the shadow world they dance and dook and when we're finally ready they will dance into our dreams and once again you can share a special time together.
ciao
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2015 20:49:51 GMT -5
so true.
I am so sorry he had to leave you.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2015 23:21:31 GMT -5
Thank you everyone. They defiantly do steal your heart.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2015 3:29:42 GMT -5
Don't worry, not many people will understand how attached you can be to a pet. I cried for weeks when one of my chinchillas died, mostly because we were very bonded after all the struggles we had to go through till she finally accepted me. She turned out to be a great friend and I still miss her today. My parents and friends didn't understand, they would be like "oh its just a rat... you can get over it, you can buy another one" . So just don't worry about what they might think, you need that mourning time to feel better. Losing pets can be very painful, and maybe you can just try explaining that to your partner again. All you need now is to feel comforted and loved, you will always miss your pet but there will come a time when you'll stop crying and just smile at the good times with them. I like to think that all my pets are in their happy places right now  that makes me feel better. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2015 14:55:40 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you are going through this, it's sad that at some point in time we all do..  And not to worry, they leave with a piece of your heart, each and every one of them, and they'll always have that special place. I still cry very often after my baby that died over a year ago.. it never goes away. I look at pictures and cry... and the pain is not fading. I couldn't keep the ashes, but I do have a picture of him on my nightstand, to say goodnight to him... I dream of him often.. sadly I wake up crying when he's not there...It hurts a lot, just writing this made my drop a tear, us here understand... Keep his memory alive, always keep him in your heart ! |
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Post by msav on Jun 6, 2015 19:40:36 GMT -5
It took me aver a year before I could even consider another ferret after Hammie Died. I did not think that Koufos passing would effect me as he was in his final few months low energy and would just sleep when he come out. I came to terms that Koufos was not long for this world, I had time to accept this even before we helped him cross the bridge. But when the time came to help him I could not help but to come to tears when we saw his lifeless body.
I still do not feel right. There is an emptiness inside that I cannot come to terms with. It will take time. the time will depend on the bond I had with him. I did not think I had a bond with him, Turns out I did. It feels different than when I lost Hammie. Hammie and I were both bonded together we both had a connection that still hurts to this day.
When one passes away I wish I never had ferrets, I wish that I did not own anymore of them. But once I get home and see their faces and as they run to come greet me I know that I could not live without them, They help me cope with that part of me That I am missing. And while I know that nothing and fill that hole, it does make room for more of them, in time.
The time that it takes to grieve is different for every person and ferret. Nobody can tell you you should be over it. Take your time and don't let them make you feel like there is something wrong with you because you are still grieving.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2015 21:16:07 GMT -5
It's crazy how much a little fuzzy thing means so much to you. They are defiantly different then other pets. Other pets are in your heart but ferrets steal a piece of your heart and I love that but hate that. I love that they make you feel so loved and the way they just are in everyday life they bring a lot of joy. I wish they were built to live longer ... Like a cat... The bond you have with your ferrets is amazing imagine if we could have that bond with that exact ferret for 20 years unfortunately that's not how it works I hope that one day I can think about him and just smile but i know he will always have that part of my heart. The little bugger!!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2015 9:47:52 GMT -5
Gosh Guys y'all are making me teary  |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2015 11:32:26 GMT -5
Handsome was special to you. He knew he was Loved. Grief is different for everyone and allow yourself to grieve his loss. Two years after Ponce's passing, I can still cry over him, even as I laugh at happy memories. I look at his little grave in my garden and talk to him. Sometimes, I cry and sometime I smile while I remember him. Take your time to honor his memory. He will watch over you and with time, you will remember many happy memories. They will not fill the hole in your heart, but that hole will become filled with so many thoughts of happy times and his sweet face. Anytime that you want to talk about him, we are here to listen.  |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2015 11:44:23 GMT -5
When my Asuna died, I was devastated. I told myself that I needed to move on quickly because there was school to finish and I didn't have time to grieve. This doesn't work. I can tell you from experience that bottling it up will only make it hurt more. I didn't grieve properly and it really messed up my ability to move on.
When Min died, I cried harder than I ever have. I cried for both her and Asuna, and I nearly threw up from gasping for air. I'm trying to actually grieve this time. Feel it, celebrate that they were with me, and know that I still have four animals running around that love me just as much.
It gets better eventually, I promise. But do not be ashamed.
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