Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2014 0:16:07 GMT -5
Lydia crossed the bridge.
I came home today and prepared to let her out of the cage and clean it. As I picked her up, she was light as a feather. My fingers fit around her rib cage and overlapped. My immediate thought was blockage, I felt around her abdomen gently and felt a mass. I threw it in the back of my mind in the form of denial. "She's just skinnier, so i can feel her organs more, you're being paranoid because she's lost weight". I was going to put her on soup.
As i held her in my arms, she began to seize. I rushed for the Karo, rubbed it on her gums and she responded well to it, perked up a bit and I packed up the carrier, called my boyfriend and within 20 minutes, we were off to the vet.
I expected to come home with a ferret, some pain medication and the results of an Xray. Instead, they wanted to keep her over night. She had an adrenal mass that had taken over one of her kidneys.
An hour later, I got a call saying that they did her blood work in house, Her renal levels were out the roof, The mass had near completely eaten the one kidney, the other kidney was over worked and beginning to fail.. to top that off, Her liver levels were off, and she had high phosphorus in her system. Likely the reason she dropped all the weight. and to top THAT off, she had an infection in her blood due to the dental disease that we'd hoped to get rid of soon.
So I made the choice to let her go without pain. While she was on the pain medications, drunk on narcotics and not feeling anything, to go peacefully to sleep.
My boyfriend told me she's now with Handsome Rob, Hagrid, and Leia "Kitten" Princess in ferret heaven.. Where there are rivers of olive and salmon oil, and bunnies that don't care if they get chased and eated. Where Lydia can run, and her ailments will no longer hold her back. Where she can bite the giant toes of angels wearing socks and sleep in soft sleep sacks, play, run, and no longer be scared. Do as she pleases.. as she always did, an independent little girl.
When i first saw Lydia at the shelter, she was a stray. Terrified out of her mind, new smells, Just came in from outside, and in the far back corner of the shelter where strays go for their two week quarantine.
I was given the job to just carry her around. Love her, bring her with me while i did paperwork, laundry, and other non-ferret-contacty things. I grew to become one of the few people in the entire shelter that could pick her up and not have her pee out of instant fear. Because for the entire month she was there, anyone who wasn't me, she'd pee on.
My birthday came around, two days before(september 22nd) when my mother used to volunteer with me, She was Holding Lydia(after getting peed on of course) to bring her to the play pen because it was her time to come out, And as i walked past my mother, Lydia LEAPS out of her arms and onto me, Clinging tightly. My mother stared, saw how much Lydia trusted me... "*sigh* Kaitlin, do you want to foster Lydia?" and I would have jumped for joy if I wasn't holding her. That was the day we signed the contract, and took our little Lydia home.
I love you, Lydia. I regret all the days I went to work and was too tired to let you out to play, So i just cleaned up your little house and went to bed. That was not fair to you. I regret the day I went to Indiana and nobody gave you your meds that morning. I hope you didn't feel too low. I regret every mistake i've ever made that may have scared you, brought you pain, or made you uncomfortable in any way. I hope that these past few days have not been painful for you, as I did not notice your drop in weight. We would have gone earlier. I'm so happy you've been in my life, I'm so happy you chose me and chose to let me love you. I'm so happy you chose to come home with me and bite my socked feet, poop on the corner of my bed, Played in a pile i've just swept up, Played with Leia gently, Bunny hopped all around the place with your funky legs... I'm so happy you came into my life, and became part of it on September 22nd of 2012. Lydia, Sweet dreams, I love you little girl.
I came home today and prepared to let her out of the cage and clean it. As I picked her up, she was light as a feather. My fingers fit around her rib cage and overlapped. My immediate thought was blockage, I felt around her abdomen gently and felt a mass. I threw it in the back of my mind in the form of denial. "She's just skinnier, so i can feel her organs more, you're being paranoid because she's lost weight". I was going to put her on soup.
As i held her in my arms, she began to seize. I rushed for the Karo, rubbed it on her gums and she responded well to it, perked up a bit and I packed up the carrier, called my boyfriend and within 20 minutes, we were off to the vet.
I expected to come home with a ferret, some pain medication and the results of an Xray. Instead, they wanted to keep her over night. She had an adrenal mass that had taken over one of her kidneys.
An hour later, I got a call saying that they did her blood work in house, Her renal levels were out the roof, The mass had near completely eaten the one kidney, the other kidney was over worked and beginning to fail.. to top that off, Her liver levels were off, and she had high phosphorus in her system. Likely the reason she dropped all the weight. and to top THAT off, she had an infection in her blood due to the dental disease that we'd hoped to get rid of soon.
So I made the choice to let her go without pain. While she was on the pain medications, drunk on narcotics and not feeling anything, to go peacefully to sleep.
My boyfriend told me she's now with Handsome Rob, Hagrid, and Leia "Kitten" Princess in ferret heaven.. Where there are rivers of olive and salmon oil, and bunnies that don't care if they get chased and eated. Where Lydia can run, and her ailments will no longer hold her back. Where she can bite the giant toes of angels wearing socks and sleep in soft sleep sacks, play, run, and no longer be scared. Do as she pleases.. as she always did, an independent little girl.
When i first saw Lydia at the shelter, she was a stray. Terrified out of her mind, new smells, Just came in from outside, and in the far back corner of the shelter where strays go for their two week quarantine.
I was given the job to just carry her around. Love her, bring her with me while i did paperwork, laundry, and other non-ferret-contacty things. I grew to become one of the few people in the entire shelter that could pick her up and not have her pee out of instant fear. Because for the entire month she was there, anyone who wasn't me, she'd pee on.
My birthday came around, two days before(september 22nd) when my mother used to volunteer with me, She was Holding Lydia(after getting peed on of course) to bring her to the play pen because it was her time to come out, And as i walked past my mother, Lydia LEAPS out of her arms and onto me, Clinging tightly. My mother stared, saw how much Lydia trusted me... "*sigh* Kaitlin, do you want to foster Lydia?" and I would have jumped for joy if I wasn't holding her. That was the day we signed the contract, and took our little Lydia home.
I love you, Lydia. I regret all the days I went to work and was too tired to let you out to play, So i just cleaned up your little house and went to bed. That was not fair to you. I regret the day I went to Indiana and nobody gave you your meds that morning. I hope you didn't feel too low. I regret every mistake i've ever made that may have scared you, brought you pain, or made you uncomfortable in any way. I hope that these past few days have not been painful for you, as I did not notice your drop in weight. We would have gone earlier. I'm so happy you've been in my life, I'm so happy you chose me and chose to let me love you. I'm so happy you chose to come home with me and bite my socked feet, poop on the corner of my bed, Played in a pile i've just swept up, Played with Leia gently, Bunny hopped all around the place with your funky legs... I'm so happy you came into my life, and became part of it on September 22nd of 2012. Lydia, Sweet dreams, I love you little girl.
Pretty baby, rest in peace. I'm sorry for your heart ache. You have me in tears down my cheeks. We are human. I believe too we will see them again. <3
You gave her two wonderful years of love and trust, and she never would have known that without you.
Lydia was so sweet, and clearly you were her very special human. My sincerest condolences.