Post by Deleted on Apr 30, 2013 2:59:34 GMT -5
Tiny,
I can't believe you're gone. Never did I ever see this day coming, but inevitably I knew it'd come one day since day one. I remember when I first met you back at petco. I wanted someone to call my own, someone to be my partner in crime when I turned 18. A dog wasn't an option so I went in that one day to find someone just for me. I met many little critters that day but, no one seemed to fit until I passed right by you. I remember holding you and of course you were going nuts to be put back down. That day, my heart knew you were the one I'd call my own. The paper work read that you were born in April 12, 2006. The second we got home, I let you explore and was so excited yet I felt guilty because the family doggy at the time was getting old and she slept in my room and I saw her looking at you like I replaced her. Well, the days went on by and you started to grow.. Looking back now, I wish I would've fed you raw food since the beginning. Maybe you would've had a fighting chance. But, since I was still in high school, My heart thought you needed your own partner in crime of your own when mommy wasn't around. Enter Pinky. The same guilt washed over me again, I hope that you knew the reasons why we got him. He wasn't there to replace you, he was there to play with you and grow old with you. But, today isn't about pinky, even though he's a bit torn up. Today is about you and our memories together. Remember when you used to climb the closet in the old room? I'm sure you loved it because you had this look of achievement when I would catch you running back and forth from between the hangers in the closet. To this day, I have no clue how you managed to climb all the way up there! You have to dook it in my ear one day when I'm sleeping. God, then there was the one day where you were trying to climb up but fell into a luggage. I thought I completely lost you! I walked for miles putting up flyers and looking everywhere thinking you ran out the door. I cried so much because my buddy was missing and the thought that I'd never see you again ate me up. To this day I have to thank Pinky for waking me up that one night at 5am, because I would've never heard you scratching inside the luggage. I would've sworn I heard scratching but every time I got near the sound, it'd stop. Since then, you lived a great life. Free roaming your little butt in the room, getting sweets you probably shouldn't have gotten. I remember when you went into grandma's room, you had your own water bowl in the shower because for some reason you loved climbing in alone and back out just for water, like you didn't have any in the room [img src="http://i1105.photobucket.com/albums/h352/JW_2012/Emoticons/
.png" src="http://i1105.photobucket.com/albums/h352/JW_2012/Emoticons/![]()
.png" style="max-width:100%;"] lol. You and the pinkster had a secret hiding sleeping spot in one of the dressers of their bed. I have no clue who taught who how to climb in there. My only regret were the 3 months that I left to go be with your father. I didn't know I'd be there that long and believe me, there was not one day I didn't think about your little face. Wish you could've flown with me, but I didn't know the protocol so grandma took good care of you until mommy brought daddy home. You were the first person I ran to! I remember you were in your new cage but your old hammy that your smaller cage came with. You were sleeping but I woke up you to let you know momma was home with daddy. Again, my old regret was going to get your daddy and not bringing you along. To this day, My heart still hurts for that. Since then, we had a fun ride. You saw me graduate from high school and junior college. Everything I did, I did it for you and pinky. You know you're my life line, right? There are so many memories I have with you, like on new years I couldn't shake off this depression because your dad had to move back to help his mom. I couldn't think of anything else, but you were right there giving me so much love. It's like you knew that mommy's heart was breaking. Or the time I had surgery and I was hurting real bad.. you laid next to me guarding me just like I helped you through your surgery. God, I miss your little face right now. I hope that I gave you everything that you needed. Like, when you stopped liking that kibble. Mommy did everything in her power to get food in your system. That was a rough patch because I didn't want you to go hungry. So, we converted to raw just for you. You loved it and it made me so happy to see you gobble up everything. You were my little champion in raw eating. You pass by and tell the pinkster that he needs to start eating just like you did, okay? I was really hoping that everything was going up since we switched over to a better diet, you gained a lot of weight, your coat got so shiny. I was so proud! I'm sorry that I let this horrible disease go on for a day, but I didn't know what to do. I didn't know you were in pain until you finally started crying. My heart couldn't take it anymore. That's why I took you to the ER to make sure you didn't have to live another day in pain, but sadly the news we got wasn't the best. I hope I gave you everything that day that you wanted. We stayed up late and watched finding nemo together, we cuddled, I fed you your carnivore care, which I know you love! I gave you everything until I couldn't anymore. We even tried playing together. I wish that it wasn't a rainy day so that you could've gone outside one more day to sniff out some of the plants, even though I know you hated being outside. You always found the way back to the front door so that You could go back inside and roam in there. I wish I could've kept you for one more day, but I know that living on pain meds is not living. I wanted to take some family pictures after I walked for my graduation, I was hoping you'd be here for my birthday and when I got accepted into grad school but, time did not permit it. My heart is hurting because we had to let you fly away over the bridge. Mommy didn't want to, please know that, but mommy didn't want you to be on pain meds and still be in pain or completely drugged out. Being on medicine or in pain is not the life I wanted for you. If stelling would've said that treatment would've made a complete turn around, regardless of money I would've done it. You know that right baby? But all the options always led back to the same decision I had to make for you. I didn't want to, god, You know I didn't. Watching your little eyes lose their shine was so painful. I hope you heard me asking you for forgiveness, thanking you for all the years of happiness that you gave me, all the kisses and cuddling that we did. So, as your story with me came to an end, please come back and give me some kisses. You always have a spot on the bed just for you. Just give me a few scratches to let me know which leg to move. Also, please pass by and give your little brother some love. I know you two weren't so close but when you were, I know you two had a connection. He protected you after your surgery, remember? I have pictures of him being happy you were back and him trying to get in the cage where you were. -sigh- Well, baby I hope you know that letting you drift off was my last gift to you. Letting you go wasn't easy, but it was time to let go. Please know that you're in my heart, and will always be there. Tomorrow when I walk to receive my diploma, Please be there with me or with grandma and grandpa watching. =)Know that Mommy and Daddy love you, I hope you're somewhere where you're no longer in pain, where there are mountains of raw food and fountains of carnivore care soupies, plastic baggies with bubble wrap where you can roll in it for days. I love you, I always will until the day I die. Until we meet again baby.
Love, Mommy.
Dook in Peace, My love, My everything, Tiny Rascal Martinez-Taft. (4/12/2006-4/29/2013)
I can't believe you're gone. Never did I ever see this day coming, but inevitably I knew it'd come one day since day one. I remember when I first met you back at petco. I wanted someone to call my own, someone to be my partner in crime when I turned 18. A dog wasn't an option so I went in that one day to find someone just for me. I met many little critters that day but, no one seemed to fit until I passed right by you. I remember holding you and of course you were going nuts to be put back down. That day, my heart knew you were the one I'd call my own. The paper work read that you were born in April 12, 2006. The second we got home, I let you explore and was so excited yet I felt guilty because the family doggy at the time was getting old and she slept in my room and I saw her looking at you like I replaced her. Well, the days went on by and you started to grow.. Looking back now, I wish I would've fed you raw food since the beginning. Maybe you would've had a fighting chance. But, since I was still in high school, My heart thought you needed your own partner in crime of your own when mommy wasn't around. Enter Pinky. The same guilt washed over me again, I hope that you knew the reasons why we got him. He wasn't there to replace you, he was there to play with you and grow old with you. But, today isn't about pinky, even though he's a bit torn up. Today is about you and our memories together. Remember when you used to climb the closet in the old room? I'm sure you loved it because you had this look of achievement when I would catch you running back and forth from between the hangers in the closet. To this day, I have no clue how you managed to climb all the way up there! You have to dook it in my ear one day when I'm sleeping. God, then there was the one day where you were trying to climb up but fell into a luggage. I thought I completely lost you! I walked for miles putting up flyers and looking everywhere thinking you ran out the door. I cried so much because my buddy was missing and the thought that I'd never see you again ate me up. To this day I have to thank Pinky for waking me up that one night at 5am, because I would've never heard you scratching inside the luggage. I would've sworn I heard scratching but every time I got near the sound, it'd stop. Since then, you lived a great life. Free roaming your little butt in the room, getting sweets you probably shouldn't have gotten. I remember when you went into grandma's room, you had your own water bowl in the shower because for some reason you loved climbing in alone and back out just for water, like you didn't have any in the room [img src="http://i1105.photobucket.com/albums/h352/JW_2012/Emoticons/
.png" src="http://i1105.photobucket.com/albums/h352/JW_2012/Emoticons/Love, Mommy.
Dook in Peace, My love, My everything, Tiny Rascal Martinez-Taft. (4/12/2006-4/29/2013)
DIP Tiny 
Fly high, but always remember to visit your mamma and brother.
