decisions

[3kaw]

Hi all.
We have 2 ferrets right now. Have had a total of 5 over the yrs, all of which have been transitioned to raw, 2 we took in knowing how sick they were and tried to give them the best life we could. Both passed from insolinoma. We have one crazy boy, Neka, who has taught us all about blockages and has had 2, yes TWO surgeries to remove blockages! we have had a sudden death with zeke in the spring, vet says heart issue. And now our youngest Luna who is about 4, has fluid surrounding her heart. I feel in 6 short yrs we have almost ( let's not jinx anything!) experienced everything good and bad that you can with them. I feel it is too much heart ache at times, then they do what ferrets do best and make your heart swell with love again.

I know Lunas life has been drastically shortened by this. She is on lasix now and doing ok, though still retaining lots of water her appetite and energy are good considering.

My concern is for neka. He will not deal well with her passing. We had them separated for about a week after diagnosis on vets suggestion, we let them out daily to see each other and visit when we cleaned out cage or fed them, and still Neka stopped eating and was very depressed. So.... they are caged together again.

We love neka and are committed to him, and Would not consider rehoming him but not ready to commit to 10 more yrs with a new baby, Would prefer to have just him until he is old and grey ( do white boys turn grey?? Lol) But don't know if we will be enough for him, he is oh so social.

So what we are thinking is to bring in another ferret for neka to have a friend. I don't want a baby, would prefer to rescue an older one.
Don't know how to go about this.
I fear a new one now would be too much stress on Luna, she has never been good with change, and she is the reason we never brought another ferret in, she would never accept it! Lol I do not want to stress her out at all.

Waiting till after she passes seems best. But then there is that time after with just neka and trying to bring him through the grief that I really worry. Do not know if that is the best time to bring in a new one, would that even be fair to the new one??

Anyone been through this have any insight or suggestions?

[msav]

I understand how you feel. But every time I think of myself without having any ferrets I feel every hole in my heart that each of my little fuzbutts have left and it hurts.

Amen, bro.

We've had 25 ferrets all told.  I can't say that I have seen any severe depression, but I have seen changes in behavior after a loss.  And Rocky passed just a couple months after his buddy MOe.  But we do hove on that does not get along with other ferrets.  If you're that worried about Neka being alone, you could start looking for another friend now.  I don't know about where you are, but where I was in Florida, craigslist always had "used" ferrets looking for a new home.  You can also contact the local animal shelter to see if they could let you know if they get any ferrets.  See if there are any ferret shelters near you.   It's always best if you you can introduce your ferret to any potential new ones.

I don't know why you'd have to separate them because one has heart issues.  But you would want to introduce her slowly to the newcomer just in case.  

[3kaw]

Thanks for your reply.
So you think I could be worrying about nothing?
He has always been high energy and would bounce from ferret to toy to human to book shelf to another ferret etc lol, so did not think he was overly attached to anyone. He has been around for 2 others passing and didn't seem to effect him at all. Now that it has been about 6 months with just the 2 of them he is different, and the bond is more noticeable. Like I said the trial separation he did not deal well with.
So I guess I should be looking into ways to help him grieve?
We always bring the ferrets home for the others to sniff and say good bye. As well I am sure as she changes in energy he will notice.
Other then lots of love from us how else to help him through?

[msav]

if he is depressed he will need more attention from you, even if he acts like he does not want anything to do from you. each ferret is different and handles the loss of another ferret differently. You kinda have to see what you dealing with. since you have been through a trial separation with him you probably already know what you may be dealing with.

ferrets also know when another ferret is sick and not going to make it. If they die abruptly then I have seen them take it pretty hard. But yes letting them see the body helps them cope better.

the most important thing I have found is to give them plenty of attention after they lose a buddy, Don't let them grieve alone.

[Sherry]

There is no doubt he WILL be depressed, likely a great deal. But he can get past this with your help. As morbid as it may sound, he will need some time alone with his friend's body after she passes so he knows what happened to her, and can do his grieving in his own way.
Get some Bach's Rescue Remedy, and keep using it for him. A drop rubbed into nose/ear flap/paw pad when it happens, and for a couple days after. A few drops in his water bowl for a week or two following.
If you see him going to a black place(not eating/drinking) or just curling into himself, pick him up and hold him on your lap and keep stroking and talking to him.
Take him out to new places to help get his mind working again.

[Sherry]

There are a few different threads in the pet loss support board on how to help him cope better: holisticferret60.proboards.com/board/56/pet-loss-support

[Deleted]

I have this debate going myself. My girl has a laundry list of issues, and her buddy is so very attached. I can't even put her in the cage and leave him out for a moment, without him almost hurting himself to get to her. He freaks if he cannot find her. I'm so worried for when one of them passes. But I'm afraid to add a 3rd and stress her and cause more issues to her delicate balance, or that the 3rd will be hard on her and terrorize her. At the same time though, I feel bad because her brother wants to play and run and bounce and she cannot keep up nor does she have the patience, so I wish he'd have a friend.

It's just a constant debate.

[3kaw]

Thanks Sherry I will read through those.
Hiddestar... That is exactly it.

[msav]

A friend would help but it has to be the right one. Too young or too hyper and it may just stress him out.

Yes it is delicate situation. If only there were other ferret owners near me to have playdates with.

[Deleted]

Any shelters near by where you could meet some? I wouldn't want a baby, but would be okay with an older one, personally. 2+ years, that's been socialized and knows when to back off (not that my boy does, lol). But my female will say enough is enough and they'd just need to respect that.

[crazylady]

Hi when I loose one who is in a group I leave them for 24 hours this way they have time for it to sink in and say there goodbyes I find this way they do not grieve so much its hard I know it is is there anyway you could visit a shelter and take her with you so she gets to choose ? often you see who they will accept and who they wont good luck give her a hug from me take care bye for now
Bev

[Deleted]

My Caillou and Jules were really close, when she died the stress and depression affected him so much that 3 weeks later he had a gastric bleed from ulcers caused by the stress. After a few months he started playing like normal and stuff again... but honestly he has never been the same, and it'll be a year this month since she's passed. But 3-4 weeks before Jules left, I had adopted Marcie, and they all 3 bonded very quickly. Marcie didn't have enough time to bond with her like Cai did so it didn't affect her really. But Jules and Cai had been bestest friends for a year, since the very day I brought him home. Him and Marcie are super close now, but Cai is still different. He plays, he is happy, but... not like he was. Most of the time, when they have that special friend, they aren't the same. Doesn't mean they can never be happy again, but they will hurt just like we do, and it changes them. Honestly I would give him a while before getting another, let him cope, just like with people you must validate their feelings, let them accept it, let them go through it, it's the only way to heal. I would order some Bach's Rescue Remedy, I've personally never used it but I wish I had it when Jules died. It has helped many many ferrets through such losses. After a little while I think it would be great for him to have a new friend, if he is okay with it. Let him choose his friend, don't just bring a ferret home. But I would give him time first.

I know how hard it is with the health issues, most of us here do. My Jules she had Adrenal Disease, Lymphoma and Insulinoma. An unsuccessful tumor removal surgery, the DES was on backorder and no Vet would ship the Lupron. In a few months Adrenal had spread into Lymphoma and that spread into all of her organs, she was fine one day, 2 days later, 2 ER visits, no sleep at all and trying everything in my power, it was too late. My Neichei had Insulinoma, GI ulcers, a consistent rectal prolapse and severe side effects from the Pred she took to control the Insu (nerve damage, hair loss, ulcers, weight loss, muscle mass loss, you name it). The Insu was extremely advanced in her case. She lived 1 1/2 yrs with it, in her last 6-8 months she had to go to the Vet once or twice a month ($40-$120 every visit depending on what they had to take care of) her main diet was Carnivore Care ($100+ a month), her Pred dose was up to 2.4ml, max dose ($60-$80/mo), she was on Carafate also ($30/mo) and Diazoxide ($120/mo), she could barely walk in her last months, she went down so quickly, I did keep her too long, which the guilt still tears me, but she was my first ferret and I was in denial she was a bad as she was. In her last weeks/month or so she had almost daily seizures, she couldn't use the litter box on her own/incontinent, she had early stages of liver failure/damage, we spent thousands trying to keep her happy, we had never spent so much time or money on any animal. My Adrian, he had Lymphoma when we got him but we didn't know it, he was sick from day 1, barely ate, black stools, didn't play, teeth grinding, muscle loss, etc. 4-6 different Vets, every test, they couldn't figure it out. We took him repeatedly to the vet, antibiotics, so on, nothing helped, nothing changed. 1 year later I woke up to blood pouring from his nose, bottom, mouth, everywhere. He had internal hemorrhaging from the cancer, that we couldn't diagnose until it was too late.

Now, my Caillou has Insulinoma and Lymphoma, and an autoimmune disorder, chronic gingivitis despite every antibiotic and steroid imaginable given to him and also a dental cleaning, and also gastric ulcers and Pica, a mental disorder causing him to eat inedible things, he has had 5 blockage protocols. No surgeries for it so far. It has taken nearly a year, thousands in vet bills and well over 1-2 dozen visits, food changes, 4-6 hr round the clock feeding, many many sleepless nights, several decades taken off my own life (LOL) but he's finally stable. The only ferret I've ever had who has been able to become stable after diagnosis. And I've been lucky that my girl Marcie is completely healthy, even though she is 7yrs old+.

It is very difficult, it means no sleep, it means your hair falling out, it means worrying so much you get nauseous, it means vet bills and more vet bills and crying in the middle of the night, it means so much stress that you almost think you can't handle it anymore, but then you get that little bit of light in the midst of all things going wrong. That little spec, that little star, that brightens your soul and tells you it's worth it, tells you that you're stronger than it, and keeps you going. Nobody can tell you when that light will come or where it will come from but trust me when I say you will get it.