How to Grieve?

[Deleted]

Booth isn't even gone yet, but the hole has already started to form. I'm wondering how you can get over such a tragedy.

My heart feels like it's being ripped apart, and all I can do all day is cry every time I see a picture or remember him.

I hate to say it, but Booth was the favorite. He brought all the ferrets together. He always wanted to play. He knew what 'no' was. He is the reason we have some of our barriers that we will no longer need. He also knew not to play hard with me, but then he would play hard with Daddy. And he is the one we always let in our bedroom because he never went to the bathroom in there, and he is the one who loves the bathtub and shower.

And the only ferret who ALWAYS goes in the litter box. He was friendly with every one. Strangers, kids, and the other ferrets. I never once heard him hiss and he only bit me once when he was really tired and didn't want to go up (was still very light and not even close puncturing skin).

I may bring him home tomorrow. Then Friday or Saturday we will be letting him go, unless a miracle happens.

[Sherry]

You've just described my Boris as well. He crossed April 09 this year. I still can't talk about him without tears.
The loss of any ferret is heart rending. The loss of a heart ferret is just that much worse.
You cope simply because you have to. Especially for the other ferrets.
They are going to be grieving just as hard.

[Deleted]

I almost think the days or hours before the end is harder. Making that difficult decision and physically driving them to the end is very, very hard. In Booths case, you know he is suffering and has pain. It is the right decision but I know it doesn't make it any easier. It's never easy and you have my deepest sympathy for what you are going thru.

[Sherry]

The best advise I can give is bring him home, spend time with him, love on him. Let him explore wherever he wants to(as long as he's safe). Give him tastes of favourite treats that would normally be forbidden.
And when his time does come, try to hold yourself together for him. You can break down later. Then bring him back home so his friends can say their goodbyes.

[Deleted]

I have to say, only having lost one of my babies(and countless shelter fuzz that i loved) it's VERY hard to lose them.
When i lost Rob, it was especially hard. i was hard on myself as well. so i will tell the story again.
Rob was thought to be a rat. strait from the pet store and into a cage for four months.
The people realized that he was not a rat and couldn't give him the play he deserved. he was not used to people other then food thrown into the cage and some water.
When he came to the shelter he was unsocialized and marked as a biter. Being me and my love of biters(having already adopted one!) i wanted him.
After about a month of him being in there, a 2 month old kit came into the shelter that i had my eyes on. Having given up on the fact that my mother would not let me take home sweet little Handsome Rob that i wanted, i gave up.
when he first came in, i made a huge deal about it and Alison(shelter manager) told me(as we are close friends) "not gonna happen".
So this two month old little kit i kept showing to my mother(Because she was REALLY cute!!)
so my mom told me "she's going to get adopted in a heart beat. FINE. if you want another ferret, get one."
Alison was talking about Rob and how he needed to be socialized and Rob HATED other ferrets. so we took him home on a sort of 'trial' basis just to get him socialized with other male ferrets. But we never ended up giving him back.
He was my buddy. Though i love my other weasels immensely, he did everything with me.
When he got juvenile lymphoma, we thought it was a blockage.
You were around when this happened to.
Four days i struggled to get him to eat, struggled to get my mother to bring me to the vet. I ended up getting a ride and taking him myself.
It was not a blockage..or it was...a tumor. the size of a golf ball in his intestine.

I found out when i was at school and people were telling me to just leave. to go home, have my mother pick me up or something.
I was a complete sob for the next week doing nothing but moping around and crying. Telling myself that i was a bad person because sometimes i didn't let him out of the cage for one day. that i didn't let him do enough. that it was my fault because all he wanted to do was play, because for the first 12 months of life he was in a fish tank, into a cage, into a shelter.
He only got 2 months to play. 2 months to run. 2 months out of 14 that he could actually RUN and PLAY like a ferret. like a real kit should.

Sorry for my rambling, but i'm explaining how hard it is.
Just remember whatever it is is not your fault.
When it may happen, you have to help him be as comfortable as possible. give him a belly lick of tone, tell him you love him.
Even if he cannot understand english, he will understand.

I still cry to this day. I cry when i talk about him, i'm crying right now. I miss my boy and it's hard for sure. Just remember that Booth knows he was loved in his time and is still loved.

[Deleted]

Thank you all. I definitely feel guilt, but I'm trying to remind myself I did the best I could and I know Booth was still happy. We are going to try to let him play outside when we bring him out, and giving him a bit of chocolate, some ice cream, etc. Not much of any, but enough to get a taste and get spoiled.

stiv, your story made me start to cry as well. Especially can relate to it since Booth has Lymphoma, which may be what is causing his fever since it won't go down.

I definitely think the hardest part is the waiting for it to happen, and when it happens. After it happens I can finally start to heal because he is already gone, but he is hopping around and dooking again. Just like he used to here.

He has been gone 3 days now (at vet), and the other ferrets seem to be doing better than I had hoped. It also comforts me a bit, because I lost our daughter middle of last year, and I know she will have so much fun with Booth there, and they will look after each other. :)I truly believe that they will be together for the first time, and for eternity. So, realizing this, helps ease the pain a little bit.

Ironically, I found out Booth had Lymphoma on the day we lost Taylor.

Anyways, now I'm ranting too. Thank you guys for the help. I appreciate it. Booth will forever be our big boy, and I will never forget him. I'll post a short post once he is gone. I also just needed to do this while I could, because I doubt I can do it when he actually goes.

<3 Booth <3

[Deleted]

I don't remember how long it took for me to post about Rob's passing. i think it was not very long but i can tell you this, it took me an hour to write something so short because i could not stop crying, sobbing, retching. i couldn't even see through my own tears(now that i think of it, i cried so much, how was i not dehydrated? ADHD grr)

And maybe your Taylor could have lots of fun with all the fuzz up there. i'm sure she will love to see her Booth again as well.

And you are allowed to rant. this is your post and if it helps you, rant all you like. Express yourself now while you can.

[Deleted]

When I lost Arya, it was as if a void had opened up in my life and things that had become so routine, suddenly no longer existed. I found myself still taking the time to put my beer bottle on the opposite end of the table where Arya couldn't reach it, had to stop myself from preparing soup and pred at night, and finally had to stuff a roll of socks into my scrub pockets to ease the feeling of loss I felt each time I reached for the sleeping lump in my pocket.

Time heals all wounds, although it may not seem like it now, you will move on and eventually you will think of Booth with only fond memories in your heart.

Just try to remember it's not goodbye, simply "See you later"

Jess

[Heather]

Loosing a ferret is difficult. We don't call them little thieves of hearts for nothing. I have buried over 20 little ones, unfortunately they seem to leave in groups All have caused considerable pain when they left, some hurt a lot more. I would be lying to say that guilt did not accompany each one's passing. How could I have made their life easier, cherished more, bought more time....it would not be normal, I think if I did not. With each comes the deep sense of a character lost. Each special in their own way. I take consolation in that someday we will all meet again but until that time, I need only listen carefully to hear them playing in the leaves or hear a soft chuckle in the wind. I need only hear a door shut and know that Mad Max is prowling again. Sometimes, between wake and sleep, I will feel a soft snuggling breath, feel whiskers on my cheek and know that Napoleon has come to play in my dreams. Sometimes, I see Lady "B" looking intently down the hall, then she will heave a big sigh and lay still with her head on the floor. I know that her soulmate, Attila has been to visit. We are not the only ones who grieve deeply. I will hear a jingle ball and no ferret is moving around....this would be Ghenghis coming to play. Sometimes, Odin will suddenly dance at a door, flip, roll .....bounce away dooking like crazy. I know that he's found Thor playing behind the door as they did not so long ago. You see, even though they steal a piece of your heart for their heartkey.....they leave behind a piece of themselves, we only need to look for them. Our little ones would never want us to cry or grieve for them. A ferret, lives for the moment and if they wanted us to remember them, it would be at their happiest moment or during their silliest episode.
It's just my opinion of course
ciao

[shinkikker]

One of my favorite cats, Church, died years ago and I am still grieving! There is no correct way to do it. In dark times, you just need to search for the light and it will bring you out. Force yourself to look at the positives. You gave Booth a forever home and loved him so so so much, treated him the best you possibly could, and gave him a life he probably couldn't have even imagined before he came into your care.

Another plus is that you have some control over the situation. You can brace yourself, and arrange plans to ensure that Booth is comfortable and loved in his last days.

You and cute little Booth are in my thoughts; send me a PM if you can think of anything you need.