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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 12:29:57 GMT -5
Thank you, everyone. I woke up today feeling a lot calmer. I made the right decision and my girl is finally with her brother, again, pain free and happy. I'm watching the other three (Yogi, Sian and Hiko) for any problems. Hiko and Sian are adapting wonderfully. They said goodbye to her body yesterday. Hiko even laid by her and cleaned her head to foot before slowly walking away. I'm a bit more concerned about Yogi. He was frantic, once he realized Pixie wasn't waking up, and he absolutely refused to go near the body again. He's also a bit reluctant to eat (won't touch anything if I'm in the room, but I've caught him eating later), and he's a bit more slower to play (and he tends to really want to hurt me, if I can get him started, which is completely unlike him. Usually he won't even play bite during hand wrestling). I've got RR in their water and they spend a lot of time with me, and in different rooms of the house (to give his mind something new to process). Any other ideas?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 13:14:57 GMT -5
Okay, so it's progressed to where he just bites out of the blue, and he's started going after Sian and Hiko very aggressively. He's with me, in my room, while they're in the ferret room (for now, so everyone can have a break). Has this happened to anyone else after losing another ferret? His poos are fine, he will eat (currently ate some pumpkin + baby food), he will explore ... he's just kinda mean, to humans and ferrets (he also started licking his lips at my cat when I took him upstairs). It's almost as if, instead of just grieving he wants to start his own fight club to avoid the issue, or something Hiko has a vet appointment on Wed.s, I might just take Yogi, too, and get him checked out for anything, just to make sure it's not some hidden medical problem that I haven't cottoned on to.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 13:21:13 GMT -5
Poor guy hes not handling it well huh? Rub a drop RR on his ear flap and on his nose. You can dose them any time he is having an issue. So everytime he bites dose him. Wash everything in the house that Pixie has touched to get rid of her scent so he can start accepting she is gone. Wash all bedding human and fur and all your clothes. Steam the carpet or mop the floor too.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 13:23:37 GMT -5
I am so very sorry, DIP little one. Every ferret is going to take a loss differently. When Sinnead passed, Boris, her mate, would not acknowledge her passing and was angry for weeks afterwards, and has never really been the same; Vincent went into a deep depression, and Lucrezia was also incredibly angry. When Vincent, Boris's brother and Lucrezia's mate passed, although the remaining business accepted it more, it was still difficult, and a lot of attention had to be paid, particularly to Boris. It's a hard thing to do, but they do (usually) get over their anger, but it will take time and a lot of patience. My best wishes. FOUND
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 13:48:30 GMT -5
Luckily, they'll be getting a new floor put in, so that will help, but I'll definitely scrub/launder everything!
I didn't know the RR could be used that way, already treated him so far, hopefully that might help take the edge off.
Should I try keeping him housed with the other two? Or should he be caged separately and given supervised play times? I don't want to stress them out by trying to force them, but then I don't want to unknowingly isolate Yogi and make things worse. Just like I don't know how to interact with him beyond being patient and not showing fear when he goes all Yogi-Terror on me. But he'll run up to me, like he wants to be held and cuddled, but if I try he either runs away or attacks. If I try just softly talking to him, he tries to bite, too. Mostly I just sit in the room with him and try to put out positive vibes. Seems to be about all I can do.
I'm "used" to the depressive side of grieving in ferrets - I've really never had to deal with all this anger before, so I'm just kind of floundering.
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Post by Sherry on Apr 2, 2012 14:13:23 GMT -5
Definitely don't cage separately right now. Even though he's tremendously angry, he needs them near him. As Cliff mentioned, we went through something like this with Boris. Here's the thread I made about it: holisticferret60.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=support&action=display&thread=4551Handle him when he'll allow you to, but let him be when he doesn't. Keep an eye out on how much he's eating. It didn't truly "hit" Boris until about 3 weeks later.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 17:14:41 GMT -5
Thanks for responding, Sherry, I was all set to cage separately. What I think I'll do instead is move their big 142 into my room, that way when they ARE caged altogether, I can hear any fighting, and be right there, instead of having them in the next room over.
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Post by Heather on Apr 2, 2012 17:57:39 GMT -5
I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this too. This is so difficult. Sherry has experience in dealing with this first hand and it is terribly difficult. Ferrets go through the stages of grief, just like us and some of us react to our grief with intense anger. We don't know why and then we feel guilty. I don't know if ferrets feel guilt but some most definitely react to grief with anger. I wouldn't separate them either, as hard as that may be. As far as removing her scent from everything, it's not possible and I'm not sure that it should be done either. It's like throwing all the photos out after a death of a loved one, it only buries the pain deeper. Eventually, life will be lived again but things have to be relatively normal for them to accept that. I will mention one thing though, this is probably not a good time to try and bring in a new ferret. I'm not saying you were considering it but at this point in time I don't think your angry wee Hiko would accept the new one right now. I will light a candle for your sweet wee girlie, to guide her paws on to her next great adventure. There are many there to greet her and make her welcome. I know it's heartbreaking to make this decision but this is our final gift that we can offer them. In return they offer us memories filled with laughter that we need only close our eyes to see once more. I will also light a healing candle for your wee boy. I hope he will soon see past his anger and find a friend that will fill his wee heart with love and laughter once more. Gentle journey, sweet little Pixie. Your parting has left a great hole that will not be easily filled, goodbye sweet little one ciao
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 18:20:07 GMT -5
Thanks so much, Heather. Your words, as always are so very beautiful. As for the scent, I will clean some - but like you said, it's impossible to erase her scent completely - I just think taking some of the immediacy out of it might help (but it'll be there in her favorite toys and beds). As for additions - you're right. I don't plan on introducing any more to this business. Yogi doesn't need it - he just needs to learn how to heal and enjoy his remaining business again (plus, Sian is a queen b**ch to new girls, and Hiko would hate any additions as well, even later). At most, when Yogi has healed, I might reintroduce him to Rula and Neera, since they share that calm, laid back aspect of Pixie's. He might come to enjoy that again when the grief lessens.
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Post by acodlin on Apr 2, 2012 18:55:31 GMT -5
I'm so sorry for your loss DIP Miss Pixie.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2012 2:06:43 GMT -5
Heather I thought it wad reccomended to wash all bedding and try to remove the scent? I think it was Sherry who said I cant recall :/
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2012 8:00:47 GMT -5
DIP sweet girl. Thoughts and prayers with you Sunnberra and with Yogi...
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2012 12:01:57 GMT -5
Thank you, everyone. I've moved them into my bedroom (Pixie's scent is in here as she's spent time in the room), and Yogi's calmed down a lot. He's not showing the anger so much anymore (he'll snuggle with Sian and Hiko), but he is showing the more depressive side, though it seems to come in waves. I'm still worried about his food intake, as it's a rather small amount. I offer him small portions of fresh food every few hours, hoping it'll spike his interest (and it does sometimes) and he's not looking like he's losing weight, but I'm keeping an eye out, in case I need to step in.
As for the other two, they're still managing. They tend to be a bit quieter than normal, and I'll catch Sian looking around, like "where is she?" But overall, they come up to me for cuddles and it makes them feel better and they're able to play and enjoy themselves.
ETA: and as always as soon as I write that, Yogs has another episode. He suddenly got frantic, running around the room trying to find Pixie, and when she didn't appear he attacked Hiko (I had to break it up) and then me. I got the RR and was getting the drops on my finger to rub on his ear and nose, when he started licking the stuff right off the dropper. Apparently, even he knows he needs it, poor thing
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Post by Heather on Apr 3, 2012 14:23:21 GMT -5
I've tried washing the bedding as well as leaving it....I see no particular change in attitude but it's entirely ferret dependent. Napoleon, dragged around the receiving blanket that was Meeteef's cuddle blanket in his hammy (he was often cold in the end and he loved to sleep in his hammy and tuck the receiving blanket around himself). He seemed to find comfort in it. Minion on the other hand seemed to start looking around for Yuri whenever he found something of Yuri's. I washed their blankets that they had in their cage but didn't go looking for anything that they had shared. All the sleep boxes were washed and cleaned out by the end of the week as that's what is done normally. If you find it works then do so, but you're probably going to miss something and their scent is going to be everywhere unless your ferrets are always confined to given spaces. ciao
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2012 15:02:15 GMT -5
Right now, I think he takes comfort in her scent that's left (her tiger, I made sure not to do anything with) and as soon as I introduced it to him he cuddled it for awhile and then crawled up on my bed, got under the covers, and went to sleep. I think the major thing is *their* room. He just ... expects her to be there, and even I've got to admit, the room, as it is right now, just feels empty and traumatic, so I don't blame him for acting out (worse) in there. In my room, there's enough of a scent to give him comfort when he can take it, but it doesn't overwhelm him. Happy (well, sort of) medium. Napoleon, dragged around the receiving blanket that was Meeteef's cuddle blanket in his hammy (he was often cold in the end and he loved to sleep in his hammy and tuck the receiving blanket around himself).Oh, god, that's sweet and heartbreaking at the same time. These babies
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