Post by brittanyb on Jul 13, 2019 4:58:44 GMT -5
Finn passed away on Wednesday morning, July 10. He was with his brothers when it happened, and I had spent the hours prior to his death caring for him and giving him plenty of hugs, kisses, and "I love you"s. I'm heartbroken not only because he was so young, but because I still don't have any answers as to what caused his death. Even after ultrasounds and X-rays the doctors were stumped, and his blood work gave no clues. I couldn't bear the thought of a necropsy. I'm just going to have to find a way to make peace with never knowing, and eventually I hope I will stop questioning whether there was something I missed or more I could have done...
Adding to the pain is the fact that I truly believed he was going to be okay. Even though he lost weight and felt so frail that I cried sometimes when I picked him up, he happily devoured his Carnivore Care around the clock, and would weigh an ounce or two more some days. He would also have days where he seemed more alert, and I allowed myself to have hope that he was on the road to recovery. After all, he was only a year and 8 months old. Time was supposed to be on his side, right?
In hindsight, of course, he was dying over the past couple of weeks. He put up a h*ll of a fight, but ultimately he was tired and ready to go. Watching this mysterious illness drain all of the life and spirit out of him was devastating, but I know that wherever he is now, he's at peace. That's the most important thing, and does bring me some comfort.
For me, there will never be another soul quite like Finn. Though he was with me for a short time, the bond I felt with him was indescribable. Though he was only with me for a year and a half, he touched my heart in so many ways, and gave me so much joy and laughter. He was the most spirited, silly, intelligent, loving, and wonderfully naughty little boy, and I feel so blessed to have been able to call him mine. I wanted us to have so many more adventures together, but I can only hope I made his short life as amazing as possible. And I hope he knew how very loved he was.
Finn, you weren't long for this world, but your memory will live on in my heart forever. I will always love and miss you. Dook in peace, my sweet, crazy boy.
Adding to the pain is the fact that I truly believed he was going to be okay. Even though he lost weight and felt so frail that I cried sometimes when I picked him up, he happily devoured his Carnivore Care around the clock, and would weigh an ounce or two more some days. He would also have days where he seemed more alert, and I allowed myself to have hope that he was on the road to recovery. After all, he was only a year and 8 months old. Time was supposed to be on his side, right?
In hindsight, of course, he was dying over the past couple of weeks. He put up a h*ll of a fight, but ultimately he was tired and ready to go. Watching this mysterious illness drain all of the life and spirit out of him was devastating, but I know that wherever he is now, he's at peace. That's the most important thing, and does bring me some comfort.
For me, there will never be another soul quite like Finn. Though he was with me for a short time, the bond I felt with him was indescribable. Though he was only with me for a year and a half, he touched my heart in so many ways, and gave me so much joy and laughter. He was the most spirited, silly, intelligent, loving, and wonderfully naughty little boy, and I feel so blessed to have been able to call him mine. I wanted us to have so many more adventures together, but I can only hope I made his short life as amazing as possible. And I hope he knew how very loved he was.
Finn, you weren't long for this world, but your memory will live on in my heart forever. I will always love and miss you. Dook in peace, my sweet, crazy boy.
Dook In Peace sweet baby.
