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Aug 21, 2017 15:01:03 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2017 15:01:03 GMT -5
Hi friends, my name is Jordan and i'm new to the site. I have..had... 3 ferrets, and recently our oldest baby, Cinnamon, passed away. She was going through her second bout of cancer, and it had progressed to the point where we couldn't do anything but make her comfortable. She was truly a fighter - she had a tumor on her spleen last year, she got surgery to have it removed and she recovered so quickly and so amazingly. She turned into a new ferret! She loved getting scratchies... she would lick us all the time... and she wanted to play again! It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen, seeing her so happy again. 2 months ago we took her back to the vet because her stomach had gotten larger and had yet to grow her fur back. He determined she had tumors on both her adrenal glands, fluid in her lungs, and her heart was beating abnormally. We then got her steroid shots monthly just to make her comfortable - she was 6.5 years young, so to have her go through another surgery... we just couldn't do that to her. Last week it had gotten too bad... she wasn't breathing right and she couldn't eat or drink, she stopped pooping, and she started hiding, for the first time ever. That's when I knew she was ready. We called the vet the next day, and we took her to have her put to sleep. I had her head in my hand, holding her tiny paw.. I will never forget how her body just relaxed and the vet whispered "she's gone". I'll never forget it. That was the moment I broke.
It's been over a week and I still can't accept that she's gone. She was my baby, the perfect, sweetest girl i'll ever have. I love her so much and I miss her every moment of every day. I haven't even cleaned up her last poops because it's all I have left of her.
Knowing that everyone here has ferrets and knows how important they are in our lives, I was hoping someone could tell me what to do. I feel lost and broken, I don't know how i'll ever recover from this. I get her back in an urn later this week... it'll be nice to have her back.
Please.. from one ferrent to another... what do I do?
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Aug 21, 2017 15:27:30 GMT -5
joseph likes this
Post by LindaM on Aug 21, 2017 15:27:30 GMT -5
My deepest condolences to you and your family in this time. I also see our furry family members as exactly that, family members. Death is hard, and with wee fuzziebutts, it seems to hit a heck of a lot harder. I will never presume to know how another must feel during this time, we all handle grief and loss differently and at different speeds. What helps one person may not even make a dent for another, simply because the loss of life is such a uniquely personal occurrence.
The best thing to help this, is time. They say time heals all wounds, and the marks it leaves will serve to remind us. I find this is quite true. Do I still get days where I feel particularly uncomfortable or relive being hit by the loss of someone? Yep, totally (a decade and a half later after a particular event and I can still cry my eyes out at the memory). There are days that are dear and you can feel downright rotten over them, but life continues to move on and in time it feels better overall. Think of your wee girl how she was before, not how she had been in the last days. Remember her full of life, bouncing and happy. Those memories of her will ALWAYS live inside your heart, thus part of her will forever be with you and nothing can take that away from you, EVER.
My personal experiences with grief and advice on it, take the time you need. Take the time to grieve and cry about it. I've never had a good experience with the just keep busy and working and keep pushing those feelings aside. It has simply never helped me. There's nothing worse than pushing feelings aside or bottling them up to have them explode at the worst time. Cry, cry and have it all out there. Scream if you need to. It's your loss, it's personal and nobody can ever tell you what is right or wrong to do in this time.
Your little girl will always be with you in spirit, and I think she'd really like you to remember her at her best, and to continue being the best momma you can to the other two that you guys have. They still need you and love you.
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Post by Heather on Aug 21, 2017 22:10:38 GMT -5
I'm so sorry for your loss of your wee one. Linda's right, time. Grieve, talk, share moments of happy times. Please understand that our little ones would never want us to loose ourselves in grief over them. It's not the way of the little ones. Eventually, you will be able to remember all the happy times you shared. Perhaps, you need to volunteer at a shelter for awhile or work with little ones who need you. Sometimes, the sensation of no longer having something to do, someone to no longer care for can be as much as an emotional drain as loosing the ferret. I'm sorry for your pain, I will light a strength candle for you, may you see your way to a brighter time ciao
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Post by Sherry on Aug 22, 2017 9:08:29 GMT -5
Losing these wee mites is absolutely devastating. They take a piece of you each and every time. But the heart ferret I swear takes the biggest. Talk, share, get out and about. Dote on your other two. Don't forget they are also going to be grieving. They feel very deeply and they will really need you right now.
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Aug 27, 2017 22:09:47 GMT -5
Post by storm on Aug 27, 2017 22:09:47 GMT -5
I'm still a little new to ferret ownership having had them for only about two years and haven't lost one yet. I have however, lost many pets over the span of my life. Some to old age, some to sickness or disease, some from accidents. Most lived a long good life but still few animals live as long as humans. I am someone who loves pets like a person and loosing them is just as painful. However I will never choose to live my life without pets to spare myself the pain. As was once said by Dr. Seuss “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.” For me, remembering the joy that they gave me and knowing that I gave them a good, happy life is one of the greatest comforts that I've ever found.
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Aug 28, 2017 9:31:11 GMT -5
Sherry likes this
Post by Thérèse on Aug 28, 2017 9:31:11 GMT -5
Condolences on your loss. As to how do you recover? @dizzla I don't think there is a real answer. You just have to keep going.
I do know that especially that first ferret loss can be overwhelming and leave you reeling from the devastation. I have had many pets over the years and thought I was prepared to face what the loss of a pet entails but was still stunned with the intensity of the grief the loss of a beloved ferret could bring. I don't know why it is so and I personally don't believe I love or have loved other pets less than my ferrets but something about the way they get into your heart can make you helpless with the grief of them going. It is just a different type of love.
Only ferret owners ever get this but it is something I read many years ago and it sort of says what I mean.
"a dog or cat will steal your heart, a ferret will steal your soul"
You are in my thoughts. I hope you can find a way back from the pain so that you remember the times you shared with fondness and a smile.
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Aug 28, 2017 17:11:12 GMT -5
Post by msav on Aug 28, 2017 17:11:12 GMT -5
Ferrets leave a ferret shaped hole in our hearts That only another ferret can fill in your own time.
there is never a perfect fit to the hole. Every ferret is unique and in time you will start to see your past ferrets in your present ferrets.
When I lost Hammie, there were certain things in his personality that were very unique. it took some time But I started to see some of those things in my other ferrets. Maybe they always did them Maybe they just started doing them, Don't know.
There will never be another Hammie, AND there will never be another Cinnamon.
Sometime it will take several Ferrets to fill that hole that "Heart" ferret left in your heart.
It took me almost a year before I could go through all my Hammie Pictures. But I would not take that any of that pain away if it meant not remembering all the time I had with him.
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Aug 30, 2017 18:33:44 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by unclejoe on Aug 30, 2017 18:33:44 GMT -5
I thought I replied to this earlier but somehow it didn't post. I'm really sorry for your loss. We've been through it a couple dozen times. In the past we've gone out and gotten another ferret or two just to fill the whole knowing it wouldn't be the same ferret but at the same time we give a new ferret a new chance at life. But now we're down to six and eventually again hope to get down to four. I think four is a good number but I've been saying that for seven years. And that was over 20 ferrets ago. I guess a new ferret helps take your mind off the old one although you'll never forget
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