Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2014 19:12:38 GMT -5
I'm sorry to say that Miss Opal passed away today. Her time with us was short, and she was making great progress in learning to eat properly, but she choked to death on some guinea pig this morning, sadly. My attempts to remove the obstruction were unsuccessful and I got ahold of the vet after Opal had not been breathing for several minutes, and it was too late to do anything for her. Even though I did eventually get the obstruction cleared, revival attempts were simply put in place too late. My vet could not do anything over the phone, and I didn't have any tools to help her even with the vet's guidance. She will be put to rest in my back yard.
Ezra and Laney are doing well. Neither of them were bonded to her due to her overall aggressive demeanor towards them. As absolutely sad as her passing is, I can at least feel some solace in the fact that both Ezra and Laney will be happier without their mean bully of a big sister scruffing them and shaking them and making them cry. I will still certainly miss my sweet girl sleeping on my pillow at night, and even when I try to look at the silver lining of an improved quality of life for my other two, it in no way measures up to the pain I feel when I think that I might have been able to do better for her, had I been better equipped or better informed. I've never heard of a ferret choking to death and therefore I watched her try to cough it up for around 20 seconds before opening the cage to assist. Who knows if that amount of hesitation on my part was ultimately her death sentence. This is going to haunt me for a long time.
It might be silly, but I need to put this somewhere, as I am trying to type through the tears it might not be entirely comprehensive but please understand my need to get this out into the universe where I feel the energy of it might somehow reach her:
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Miss Opal,
I didn't want you when I first saw you. I think you knew that. I wanted to help you, but I did not want you to be my baby. You became my baby anyway. By the time we got Laney, you know, I couldn't even decide if I had a favorite or not. She is my little baby girl, but you are my beautiful old lady. She and Ezra would not sleep on my pillow the way you did. They will not let me feed them the way you did. They will not ride on my shoulder or let me play with their paws while they sleep. You were very trusting toward me, and you had no reason to be. I really appreciated that, always. You let me hold you and cry when Sam left and you didn't walk away even to get some water or use the litter box and you were still there when I woke up. That meant everything to me. I wish so much that you had been nicer to your brother and sister and Kovu during your time with us. You were so nice to me and I don't know what happened in your past to make you so vengeful toward all of them. I needed you to know that I never loved them more than you. I let them see your body but I didn't let them touch it, because I felt so protective of you. You can't bite at them to defend yourself from whatever you're afraid of anymore. I'm so sorry. In the end, I just hope I can come to feel that my actions were as guided as they could have been. I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me if I could have done more to save you. I didn't know what to do. I just did the best I could. Please know that. I'm going to miss you so much, old girl. So very much. I'm sorry to have let you go like this. I will think about you as much as I can without hurting too much. I loved you very much.
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Thank you to everyone on this forum for being so kind over the course of my journey with Ezra, Opal, and now Laney. I want to end this post on a positive note and let you all know that Laney is getting on well. She plays nicely with Ezra and never seems to be still for more than a few minutes. With Opal's passing, I feel Ezra and I will become even more attached to her. I will keep you all updated.
Ezra and Laney are doing well. Neither of them were bonded to her due to her overall aggressive demeanor towards them. As absolutely sad as her passing is, I can at least feel some solace in the fact that both Ezra and Laney will be happier without their mean bully of a big sister scruffing them and shaking them and making them cry. I will still certainly miss my sweet girl sleeping on my pillow at night, and even when I try to look at the silver lining of an improved quality of life for my other two, it in no way measures up to the pain I feel when I think that I might have been able to do better for her, had I been better equipped or better informed. I've never heard of a ferret choking to death and therefore I watched her try to cough it up for around 20 seconds before opening the cage to assist. Who knows if that amount of hesitation on my part was ultimately her death sentence. This is going to haunt me for a long time.
It might be silly, but I need to put this somewhere, as I am trying to type through the tears it might not be entirely comprehensive but please understand my need to get this out into the universe where I feel the energy of it might somehow reach her:
----
Miss Opal,
I didn't want you when I first saw you. I think you knew that. I wanted to help you, but I did not want you to be my baby. You became my baby anyway. By the time we got Laney, you know, I couldn't even decide if I had a favorite or not. She is my little baby girl, but you are my beautiful old lady. She and Ezra would not sleep on my pillow the way you did. They will not let me feed them the way you did. They will not ride on my shoulder or let me play with their paws while they sleep. You were very trusting toward me, and you had no reason to be. I really appreciated that, always. You let me hold you and cry when Sam left and you didn't walk away even to get some water or use the litter box and you were still there when I woke up. That meant everything to me. I wish so much that you had been nicer to your brother and sister and Kovu during your time with us. You were so nice to me and I don't know what happened in your past to make you so vengeful toward all of them. I needed you to know that I never loved them more than you. I let them see your body but I didn't let them touch it, because I felt so protective of you. You can't bite at them to defend yourself from whatever you're afraid of anymore. I'm so sorry. In the end, I just hope I can come to feel that my actions were as guided as they could have been. I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me if I could have done more to save you. I didn't know what to do. I just did the best I could. Please know that. I'm going to miss you so much, old girl. So very much. I'm sorry to have let you go like this. I will think about you as much as I can without hurting too much. I loved you very much.
----
Thank you to everyone on this forum for being so kind over the course of my journey with Ezra, Opal, and now Laney. I want to end this post on a positive note and let you all know that Laney is getting on well. She plays nicely with Ezra and never seems to be still for more than a few minutes. With Opal's passing, I feel Ezra and I will become even more attached to her. I will keep you all updated.
But so grateful that you were there to love her through her last months of life. She had to know that she was loved, and she obviously returned your love. Hugs to you, Ezzy, and Laney. 
