Lulabelle crashing again

[xeopse]

Well, I have kept her doing great for two weeks. She put all her weight back on, has been eating 3 Nature's Varitety bison medallions a day plus almosth alf a can of EVO duck canned food.

Kevin yelled to me last night to run to the bathroom and check on her, so I did. She was wheezing a little, but it's not unlike her to do that sometimes. She has been grooming herself a lot since I have to handle her so much, you would neverk now she was sickly - she looks absolutely healthy. So because of the extra grooming I thought maybe she had a hairball, gave her some ferretlax, checked on her several more times before I went to bed - she had stopped the wheezing.

I went to check on her thism orning and she pooped EVERYWHERE. A little soft, but nothing unusual, but there was more than usual definitely. I found her wrapped up in a ball, breathing hard like she is having trouble breathing again - her heart and resp rates are way high, too high to count. It was towards the end of her 12-hour dose time, so I gave her the pred and amoxi right away. The vet and I agree that this is going to b e something to go day-by-day/week-by-week kind of thing if we are going to try everything we can to keep her comfortable and happy. He said she is WAY TOO YOUNG and he is at a total loss. I will ahve to increase her dose periodically.

He unfortunately isn't in his office today so I gave her .2 mL extra of both the pred and the amoxi. I have been at work for 2.5 hours, and I will be leaving shortly to go home and check on her. SHe is otherwise walking around just fine, crawling into boxes and hampers, digging in her box, eating... but she is breathing hard again. So I'm going to go home in a few minutes to check on her before going to my class.

If she is not better, I think I am going to have my teacher help me put he to sleep. there isn't really a treatment, there isn't anything I can do for her and this is obviously very aggressive if it's only been two weeks since I have to increase her dose. I feel so horrible - her sisters are playing in their two 143 cages (I have them set up together so it's one giant cage) and acting like normal little baby ferrets... then I have Lulabelle who acts like she is a sickly 10 year old ferret with a million different problems.

I wish you all could have seen her and Leia (my dog) go for a walk the other day. We took them both to a nearby baseball field and let them play. She had SO MUCH FUN just wandering around in teh (dead) grass, she refused to let me pick her up to bring her back to the car, she insisted on walking/running the entire way only to stop and play in the leaves on the way. When we got home she was digging in her crate to let her out so I carried her back into our building, she was so happy to get inside her favorite hallway (yeah i dunno, she gets excited in this one hallway) and RAN FULL SPEED down the hall after us! She was so happy, she fell asleep in her favorite hamper full of ferret bedding and went to sleep.

[Heather]

Her life may be destined to be short, but it was full and she enjoyed every minute of it and it was totally your care that made it that way. I can't say anything that's going to take the pain away. Juvenile cancers are horrible, horrible diseases. They are usually very aggressive and never give their people long enough to say goodbye (not that it's ever easy). I will light Lullabelle's candle and hope that she manages to pull this one out of the hat too, but if not, please know that we're here for you, behind you and understand the pain only too well. You rescued her from certain death, you gave her a life that she would never have had or supposed to have had (she was a marshals lab animal, they're brought on this planet to do a service and die) I know that knowledge doesn't make any of this any easier, but you and only you have had the privilege of knowing and loving this tender sweet little creature and showing the world what her real potential was and is. She was so much more than someone's lab test and learning tool. She was a "Ferret" and you believed in her enough to allow her that privilege.
Good luck, thinking of you and wishing both of you the strength for your respective journeys. May you both continue to journey together for as long as possible and may you continue to enjoy each others memories once you must part
ciao

[Sherry]

I cannot believe the utter joy you have been able to bring into this little girl's life. And she to your's. Here's hoping she doesn't have to cross that final bridge quite yet, and you have a bit more time with her, but do please know that we will always be here for you, no matter the tough decisions you will have to make in the future.

[xeopse]

I forgot to mention in the previous post how much weight she has lost literally overnight. She was a bag of bones this morning - I couldn't believe it. Within the last two weeks she had gained all that weight back and a teeny bit of muscle, and now it's all gone. I have increased her dose as of this morning, and Im about to give her another one now. I talked to my teacher about the decision to put her to sleep this afternoon, she thinks I should give the increased dose another shot since she pulled through so great the last time and to give her time to adjust to it. However, when I mentioned how aggressive it must be to already ahve to adjust her dose... she said there is little known about these kinds of diseases, and that I'm absolutely right - it is incredibly aggressive, and I have to remember quality of life.

I jsut went to check on her now. She is having a hard time breathing still, it's very rapid. She is still very responsive to me, when I signal to her to come she still comes, but I saw just now while she was laying down that her abdomen is huge again - I'm assuming her pancreas. It hasn't been an issue for over a week, but it's bulging her belly now. My teacher said she might have overexerted herself during her playing and running on Wednesday afternoon, and that's why she's been having a hard time since last night (THursday) which in theory means she could pull through this. Since I did take her outside that exposes her to molds, pollens, and a lot of other things that could be agitating her already compromised respiratory system. I told her I felt awful if I caused this by letting her play outside and she insisted that it was a great thing to let her experience and that it made her feel good enough to run and experience things normal ferrets should. I don't want to put her through any more suffering, I was so lucky to pull her out last time she went down this path... if she is not better by tomorrow I will put her to sleep. Hopefully my teacher will be there, if not I will take her to the exotics vet by Boston... it is a very long drive there and back, so I'm hoping I can do it at my school because I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to drive after. I just want to sleep next to her all night and cuddle, she has been so cuddly these last few weeks, she even likes it when I rub under her chin now. I so wish I took a video of her and Leia outside, everyone on here would have thought she was just beautiful.

She has come so far, I wish I could bring them all back to the lab and scream at them "THIS IS THE LIFE THEY SHOULD ALL HAVE. YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES." But alas, they just got another shipment of kits not long ago... and so the process starts again. What goes on behind closed doors in research would really make people sick - the worst part is people don't even know they are funding these kinds of sick procedures with their own tax dollars. It's infuriating, utterly infuriating. At least I know that Lulabelle did not die a year ago just for some sick little med school practice subject and had a great life she would ahve otherwise never experienced there. I so wish I took that d*mn video.

[maddy]

Reading about lulabelle is so bittersweet. I'm so happy she is enjoying her time, but it also makes me cry . I hope so much she pulls through... what a precious little soul. Life just isn't fair. I am so glad you have given her another life.

[xeopse]

I am waiting until the vets office opens at 11. Lulabelle is not doing any better - her breathing is still pretty erratic and she is not eating like hse normally does, she didn't touch her food all night. I just added some more duck canned food and she is eating now, but normally she would have eaten all this by now. I refuse to let her suffer, so I'm waiting til the vet opens so I can ask to have her put to sleep.

Leia is going to be upset when I come back without her. I am debating bringing her along, those two are best buds and Leia is quite attached to her - she is so gentle with her, and when we went for our walk thrugh the baseball field Lulabelle kept looking for her for some encouragement, and Leia would walk back and sniff her and give her the tennis ball, then slowly walk away as if to have her follow, so Lulabelle would follow her. Wherever Leia went, Lulabelle went. I'm worried if i don't bring Lulabelle back today then Leia will look for her =/ Leia was very upset when our cat never came home last year... she kept looking for her, and I don't know what level of reasoning a dog has over this kind of situation but she checked every corner of that house and outside for days, whining. I don't think her sisters will care, she has not lived with them for some weeks now and they always pushedh ero ut of hte group anyways. Leia has kept watch over her the entire time she's been here. I was in my bedroom one time when Leia started barking (she NEVER barks) and squealing, she came running into my room then back to the bathroom door which I kept open in case Lulabelle wanted to walk around the apartment while I was home (Leia never ate her food - she will eat anything normally,but she never touched Lulabelle's food even with the door wide open) and I went in to Lulabelle who had twisted herself up somehow and could barely breathe. Leia was worried about her and knew I would help =/

So now what do I do? I will be calling my parents today in southern Rhode Island - they have quite a bit of land there, we bury all our animals... however, they have no idea that I have ferres. They have never visited my house before in Massachusetts and I barely talk to them. They always give me a hard time about having pets while I'm in college, saying its a waste of money and that I get distracted. When they gave me a hard time about spending my tax money on paying for my cat's vet bills last year, Chloe died of a couple different cancers so it was inevitable but it was a huge bill.... my parents yelled at me for even adopting her (before I went to college, when I lived in Missouri!) so I said it wasn't even worth it to tell them I took all the ferrets home from the lab last summer. I'm not sure what their response will be, in theory I don't have to tell them I have 4 more but we will see. Today will not be a good day *sigh* I'm checking on Lulabelle all the time this morning, she is just resting =/ Too tired to do anything, it's breaking my heart. </3

[maddy]

I'm sorry I hope everything goes as well as it possibly can.

[Deleted]

I'm hoping your ok right now...well, as ok as you can be....

[Sherry]

I would take Leia in with you, or have you bring Lulabelle home so they all can say goodbye. They are all going to grieve in their own way. We brought Sinnead back with us last night after helping her cross the bridge, let all her friends say goodbye to her in their own way, and then brought her back into the vet's for cremation.
That way, she didn't just "disappear", and it seems to have really helped them as well.
I am so sorry you are having to make this decision for your little Lulabelle so soon. You will all be in our hearts.
Here's Heather's post on helping your other furkids cope with death:
holisticferret60.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=support&action=display&thread=1064&page=1

[miamiferret2]

i hate to ask these kinds of questions, but what research was she being used for and what were they doing to her in the lab? do you think that what they did to her in the lab is probably what caused her to get sick?
juvenile lymphoma (if that is what she really has) is a horrible disease. i did not want to tell you this before, but usually a ferret with juvenile lymphoma seems to be make a recovery w/ meds and it looks like they are on the mend. but then they take a fast nosedive for the worse and their health rapidly declines.
you are a good person for not being selfish and not wanting her to suffer. i hate it when they die young. i get so angry when i lose a young one. it is not fair.

[Sherry]

If I remember correctly miamiferret, they were used for surgical practice for spays and descenting.

[xeopse]

Thanks so much for that Sherry, I just read it. I am not sure her sisters will be bothered since they've never been close, but I definitely think Leia will benefit.

You know what the awful thing is - and I feel like the worst ferret mom for this, but I feel like without Lulabelle here it won't be the same. Not that I don't love the other four, but I feel somewhat detached from them because we never bonded - they have come so far since living here, but they are just not affectionate like Lulabelle is. Oddly enough though, I was talking to Kevin about her sisters the other day about it and he admitted saying that he has grown a soft spot for Persephone lately. Persephone. I couldn't believe my ears! I know not everyone will remember when I brought them home last summer, but let me tell you.... she was the worst! Bit and held, hissed, attacked the both of us AND Leia! Several times! She is great now though, you'd never know she was such a bad girl before.... and now she has lured Kevin in with her naughty little cheeky ways! I imagine this will take some time to adjust, but I can't help but think I'll never have such a gentle, sweet baby like Lulabelle and that is just a little disheartening.

Lulabelle, baby, you are one in a million, and I am going to miss you so much. <3

[xeopse]

Sherry is correct, they were used as surgery practice for the med students. It's a pointless program, there are hundreds of cadavers at that facility as well as other live animals having surgery every week that the students can use instead of killing six ferrets every year for no reason. They just got in their six new kits... it makes me want to scream.

[katt]

I am so sorry. Lulabelle is such an amazing little girl. I do have to wonder about the other animals' behavior though. Animals have an amazing ability to detect things...earthquakes....seizures...cancer. It is possible that all of the animals could sense that she was sick, and you are just seeing the signs now (ferrets are very good at hiding things from us from toys and socks, to the fact that they are very, very ill). Perhaps the ferrets' way of dealing with her was to push her out. Since they were not particularly well bonded before it could simply be a survival of the fittest instinct. Disown the sick and weak, don't endanger the healthy, etc. Then for Leia...dogs are very unique in that they have been bred and altered and evolved to be our coworkers and companions. There is actually some very interesting research about canine-human relationships, and how it affects human physiology, and how domestic dogs have certain traits and abilities not seen in their wild counterparts. (I wish I knew the study..someone was telling me about a book a while back... ). Anyways, she is obviously a very caring and motherly dog. She has that instinct to just care for things. It is very possible that her special bond with Lulabelle had a lot to do with her being so sick. She could sense that Lulabelle needed some extra special love and care. It is interesting that she (from how I am reading it anyways correct me if I was wrong) was also bonded to your cat...who also had a form of cancer... You have a very special dog there if you ask me. But then, you already knew that.

Please do take Leia with you when you guide Lulabelle out. I think it will help her a lot with the grieving process. I am so sorry that you are losing your special little girl. I know you are not bonded with the others, but hold them tight -they will comfort you. And you never know who might be your next heart ferret. The great thing about ferrets is they will not try to replace Lulabelle. She will always be a memory you can cherish and love. But they will win you over in their own unique ways with their individual wit and charm like only a ferret can. You gave them all a chance to LIVE. Something they probably would not have had otherwise. Her days may have been short, but you made them full. You gave her the best that any ferret could ask for.

I lost a dear friend to a brain tumor recently and Shane's words of comfort really helped me. Maybe they can bring you some comfort too... He said that when you die, all that matters is the love that you gave, and the love that you got. You helped this little one complete her journey. She taught you what you needed to know, and you taught her how to be a ferret and what it is to be loved and love. You completed her life, gave her what she needed. Often it is the ones that are here for the shortest time that have the biggest affect. Lulabelle was so dearly loved, and she loved you back unconditionally. Her life was very complete indeed. Thank you for giving her what she needed. She will be waiting at the bridge. Rest in Peace sweet little fuzz. You have the love of your mommy, your Leia, and all of the forum members here.

[xeopse]

Oh I think everyone that met and heard about Lulabelle has known she was "special" from the very beginning... I knew from Day 1 she had problems. It was unclear what kind of problems, but I knew that my time would be cut very short with her, just not this short =/ She has had a very enlarged heart and very enlarged spleen since we took her first x-ray at 1 year old, but when I took her home at 8 months old I knew she had something congenitally wrong with her. The shape of her head, her mannerisms, incapability of developing any muscle, her personality, plus the being deaf and looking like such an oddball... it's not a coincidence. The vet at the lab told me that Lulabelle essentially had something like Down Syndrome, therefore he always called her my "special baby" I'm not sure if she really does have lymphoma, but she does have many of these symptoms, if not all of them. I noticed a month ago she was not normal, but sometimes she goes throug hthese periods where when I am sick she also gets sick (we pass the flu back and forth? who knows, but her sisters ahve never been sick) so I thought she would pass it and I'd just giver her a little extra food and attention and seperate her from her sisters until she was feeling better. Except she never got better. I found an exotics specialist within a week and got her an appointment, she was misdiagnosed as having cardiomyopathy and pneumonia which apparently is very common when dealing with this, and started treatment for something she didn't have. Brought her to another vet who did several more xrays, an ultrasound, and then sent them to an exotics radiologist who confirmed what we all feared... juvenile lymphoma was the best and most probably guess. Prognosis was very poor, they kept insisting she would never pull out of it... but I tried anyways because it was just too soon. That was three weeks ago, she's been improving dramatically since I started her on the predisolone to the pint where we coud go outside with Leia, and she would always follow Leia out to the hallway in our building.

*sigh*

And yes, Leia has always been very motherly... I don't know why because she has never had puppies but that maternal instinct is very strong with her! Our cat Chloe used to HATE being groomed by Leia, but Leia would ever so gently lick her when Chloe couldn't seem to groom herself, especially towards the end. No matter how many times she got swiped in the face with angry cat claws, Leia always tried helping her. She has also been rawfed since 2008, what's funny is that Leia owuld be eatng some big hunk of meat, like a 4 lb block of pork shouldero r something frozen solid (when she was younger I really needed to give her something that would occupy her - Kongs and such lasted about two seconds with her!) and Chloe would actually walk up behind her, walk underneath her while she was eating, and start to eat the same hunk of food Leia was working on. If Leia didn't stop eating to let Chloe eat, Chloe would look up at her (from under her chest) and SQUAWK at her. Not meow, or hiss, but loudly squawk in a demanding voice until Leia would stop eating. If Leia didn't stop eating (usually she looked ather confused and would justl et her eat) then Chloe would try to walk off with this giant mass of meaty dinner while Leia was trying gently to hold it in place so she could finish. Absolutely hilarious <3 I have pictures of the two of them sleeping together where Leia was in her big dog bed, and she actually got up and moved over when Chloe wanted to sleep there so they could share it together. The kicker here is that yesterday (April 1st) they started some strict Breed Specific Legislation here, saying that pit bulls are too dangerous that they have to be walked with a muzzle and the whole nine yards. Yet out of all the dogs I've ever had (I'm used to shepherds, akitas, elkhounds, labradors, retrievers, basically anything big with a lot of fur) and here is Leia who is the opposite of that, being the most gentle. Go figure.

I think everyone is right, Leia should probably be there. Kevin is going with me so I wll have him hold her and make sure she is calm during the whole thing. I have no idea how an animal will react with another animal is in the process of dying - in research it's against against USDA/animal welfare policies to let other animals see/hear/otherwise experience other animals dying because it's too stressful. With Leia's maternal instict I'm not sure how she will react - depressed? stressed? upset? I've never considered them being in the same room before, we are so trained out of htat ever being appropriate but the situation is different in research - they are being killed not becaues of sickness or pain, but for data/practice.