RIP Freddie the hamster

[katt]

Like I said, I have either been there myself, or seen it first hand. It can be intimidating trying to make friends when you are both shy and ahead of your classmates. While girls in my classes were giggling over that new PowerPuff Girls backpack, or how Suzie had a crush on the-cutest-boy-in-class-Tommy, and boys were playing war games and picking on the girls they liked..I was sitting inside reading my books and writing poems and working on artwork and getting in trouble for reading my own book during literature because I had finished the story they were reading out loud 10 min ago and was bored senseless. (I was a nerd from the start! haha). We had nothing in common - makes it that much harder to strike up a conversation or friendship. If you can get your son in some gifted classes I think it could really help him. Like Sherry said - if they can just keep him from being bored he could co really far in his academics. And it sounds like he already is! It might hep him to find some friends who are more like him as well that he can relate to a little better. Kids who are on the same mental level.
Also, what about some out-of-school programs? Sports are a good way to help him build confidence and meet some new friends. As are other activities like art club, poetry competitions, drama/acting classes, as a sensitive kid with a lot of energy he might like dance (but it might bee too "girly" at this age too lol), or karate is a really good one. I am sure Heather can tell you how Karate can build confidence and self esteem - she teaches it! The more you can guide his energy and focus into positive things the better off he will be. I really don't think he is ADHD from your description - he is a gifted little kid who is bored out of his mind. ;D ;D ;D ;D

Have you ever considered home schooling? You could easily home school him (Virginia is a great resource for info on home schooling - she home schools her kids) and he would be WAY ahead of his peers academically. Then YOU are the one doing it - and I can tell he loves his Mommy. You can find ways to keep things engaging for him, and he won't feel ostracized by a teacher who doesn't know how to handle gifted kids. And he won't be trapped by the stupid school system that is bent on keeping all kids at the lowest kid's level. Then to build his social skill you can get him involved in activities like I mentioned above.

I am soo glad he loved the journal idea so much! My parents always tried to force me to keep a regular journal which I absolutely hated. BUT I LOVED writing when I felt like it. haha Hopefully the journal helps him release a lot of the pent up energy and emotions; sometimes just getting it out is enough to help you get to a level where you can deal with those emotions better. Tell him I said Green is my absolute Favorite color ever! I want to hug him! That is soo cute that he blushed. hehe You are a very lucky parent to have such amazing kids. Not to mention Good-looking, intelligent, sensitive, amazing kids!

Heather, I remember you talking about your son before. Those pictures are precious. I am thankful we have the technology to capture - and Share! - such special moments like that so easily. It is truly amazing the power of the fuzz. What animals can do for kids, and for Anyone, is something very special. They love you unconditionally, keep your deepest secrets, and teach you about loving, living, and leaving... :-*The world would be a cold, hollow, empty place without animals.

[katt]

Ooops I wrote a novel....

[Deleted]

Heather I love those pics of your son. The first pic of him and the ferret with its mouth open is too cute. It looks like the furry is saying "whoa thats awesome,do it again". LOL I also agree with all you who said that he doesnt seem to have ADHD and that he is just gifted. You would think that him learning at such a high level that they would allow him in Gifted and Talented classes but they wont. Im guessing they think that he will be too much of a hassle to handle or something. I dont know how they expect him to excel in life if they are holding him back from doing things up to his standards. I have actually thought about homeschooling him and my youngest son. My husband is not too fond of the idea tho at the moment. He wants the boys to be able to be in a social enviroment around people around their own age. It would be ok if my oldest actually had friends and wasnt sitting by himself. I also forgot to tell everyone that my oldest son's name is Donovan and my youngest sons name is Eldon. Anyways back on subject. Donovan has anxiety about kids his own age. He doesnt like being different from them. They made fun of him at the beginning of the year for wearing a monkey shirt that he absolutly adored. The teacher even cracked jokes about his shirt. What the heck do these people think about how that made Donovan feel. It infuriates me so much. He found it in his closet the other day and wrote all over it with a sharpie marker. That traumatized him when they made fun. Isnt that the same as bullying? I would say it qualifies in the same catagory. He is six years old and already having to put up with the stupidity of others.

[Heather]

There is a reason why I homeschooled both my skinkids. Some teachers are as cruel as the students and have no idea how to offer support or to deal with difficult situations. Homeschool kids are most often more socially advanced, disciplined and sensitive as they don't have to deal with bullying, peer judgement or pressure before they're emotionally capable of dealing with such issues. They learn independence, self-reliance and empathy. Why should a child of 5 and 6 yrs deal with issues that even adults have difficulties dealing with. I have more than a few "special needs" kids enrolled in my karate classes. Tell your little one to stick to his "guns". This was Nicholas last year .

ciao

[katt]

Apr 2, 2011 16:12:33 GMT -5 tngmom said:

Heather I love those pics of your son. The first pic of him and the ferret with its mouth open is too cute. It looks like the furry is saying "whoa thats awesome,do it again". LOL I also agree with all you who said that he doesnt seem to have ADHD and that he is just gifted. You would think that him learning at such a high level that they would allow him in Gifted and Talented classes but they wont. Im guessing they think that he will be too much of a hassle to handle or something. I dont know how they expect him to excel in life if they are holding him back from doing things up to his standards. I have actually thought about homeschooling him and my youngest son. My husband is not too fond of the idea tho at the moment. He wants the boys to be able to be in a social enviroment around people around their own age. It would be ok if my oldest actually had friends and wasnt sitting by himself. I also forgot to tell everyone that my oldest son's name is Donovan and my youngest sons name is Eldon. Anyways back on subject. Donovan has anxiety about kids his own age. He doesnt like being different from them. They made fun of him at the beginning of the year for wearing a monkey shirt that he absolutly adored. The teacher even cracked jokes about his shirt. What the heck do these people think about how that made Donovan feel. It infuriates me so much. He found it in his closet the other day and wrote all over it with a sharpie marker. That traumatized him when they made fun. Isnt that the same as bullying? I would say it qualifies in the same catagory. He is six years old and already having to put up with the stupidity of others.

You and your hubby need to talk to Virginia and Heather. Get him into activities, and he will get socialization. And - as Heather said - BETTER socialization than he would at school. And really when you think about it (ammo for hubby? ), in the WORST case home-school scenario vs the current public school scenario: he could have no social skills, or have no social skills and NO self confidence because of the bullying... *should show thread to hubby* Virginia was saying that home school have like group things to do with other home school kids and such too.

The whole shirt thing is so terrible! Poor, poor kid. People can be SO cruel! I would have gone After that teacher in a fit of rage. What a B**** I want to see this shirt. Why on earth would they make fun of him? And the Teacher? GAH!!!! *hates people* I feel soo sad! Poor little Donovan. (what a great name btw I like both names very unique). I am so sorry that your boy has to go through this. I feel for him I really, REALLY do! That is very traumatic. Especially for a little kid who really invests a LOT of emotion into liking something, and can be completely crushed over it. *cries*

Perhaps you can talk your husband into home schooling with some of the info we gave you, and more info that Heather and Virginia have tons of stowed away from experience I am sure. Whatever happens, he has a very loving family. Please do let us now how the new fuzz-search goes!

[shilohismygirl]

I know what it feels like to be made fun of for everything. As a kid, I looked like a boy with boobs because I had such short hair. I developed faster, and I dressed in clothes that fit me from Goodwill (now I love that place...), but the point is that no matter what I did I was made fun of. I remember how going to school back then was such a source of anxiety. I had no friends, and I was a pretty smart child. I am so sorry your little boy has to go through being made fun of, especially for something that he liked. I bet that shirt is amazing. I remember having a similar experience. I loved this paisly button up shirt that I had. It was green and red and even had some pink, and I loved all the colors. To this day I still love paisly. However, none of my classmates did, and that was clear. Ugh. I wouldn't be a kid again for anything in the world. It's easier as you get older, but mean words don't hurt any less. When my mom and dad got our dogs, Leonard and Karl, I really did cry into their fur or tell them things that I felt-I still do that with the ferrets. I can understand why he was so sad about the loss of his furfriend. Give your sweet boy a hug for me!

[katt]

What I go made fun of for the most for a loooong time was my hands. I have OCD. One of my compulsions was (and still is but less extreme) to wash my hands a LOT over and over with HOT water and lots of soap. This dried my hands out beyond belief and the cracked and bled. They were rough and ugly and looked like old man hands. To make it worse I had this HUGE wart on my knuckle. :,( I'm sure you can imagine things that were said. Me being so self conscious and shy anyways it destroyed me. I couldn't scribble all over them with a marker and stop wearing them. So I hid them. I stretched out all of my shirts and ripped holes in them trying to keep my hands hidden in my sleeves. Finally I discovered lotion. To this day I cannot wash my hands or do anything that makes them feel "dry" without immediately putting lotion on my hands. what kids say to each other can have such a long lasting effect.

Shane and I were talking about this a few times and there really seems to be a trend in the forum of childhood trauma in various forms and degrees. It makes sense.

[katt]

*phone didn't let me finish*

Anyways it makes sense...because we turned to our pets for comfort and support and antianxiety and all of the other amazing things that they do. It built a sense of compassion and a strong need to do everything we can for these furred ones that give us so much. I think that really contributes to why this forum is such a great place to be. We have a lot in common, most of us if not all have been through a lot, we stand together and support each other and do anything in the world to keep our fuzz healthy and happy afterthey gave us so much.
The stories you guys are sharing breaks my heart. People make me sick sometimes. But I am grateful that it has helped bring us all together. Maybe when he is older little Donovan will be a forum mod! lol But please let him know that he is not the only one And if he can just live through it and stay strong he will come out a better person in the end. And even already he is SO much better than any of them.

[shilohismygirl]

That's very true, Katt. It does seem like a lot of us fuzzy lovers have really have used our furbuddies as a way to cope. The reason why we got Shiloh and Fiddler in the beginning, was because once, we were in the pet store in our town, and hubby went up to the little ferrets in the cage, and he came up, and wrapped his little paw around his finger. Hubby suffered from depression, and seriously, his mood was immediately lifted. I knew we had to have them-and we came back the next day for them. He does not take depression meds, and with a daily dose of ferret fun, remains pretty stable. Many kids can be cruel, but what can one expect if those other kids have parents or other adults in their lives that treat others with less kindness and appreciation than they would like to be treated with? From a young age, I was taught to deal with people and other living things with kindness, generosity, and love-being picked on really reiterated that because I definitely knew how it felt to be hurt. I am very sorry that kids picked on you for your hands, Katt. It really hits home with me, especially because my littler cousin Helen, who is about 12 has severe OCD. Others do not treat her well, though she is a beautiful, talented, and SMART little young lady.

[Deleted]

You all can totally relate to what Donovan is going through then. I too was made fun of at school. They picked at me until I hit high school. I myself have a disorder that causes me to pull out my own hair. It is not as bad as it used to be but I still get episodes that are worse than others. I pull my hair out if I am stressed. It sucks and it is embarrassing. I used to only rely on my animals for comfort when I was younger because I felt like I had no one else. I have always been on the bigger side of the weight range. I am 5 feet 2 inches tall and I weigh quite a bit. For as long as I can remember I have had animals as my friends. I still cry like a baby when a pet dies. It is sooo hard to lose something that you rely on for unconditional love. Iam glad that there are people that know and can relate to the hardships that myself and my son and my family go through. My hubby used to get made fun of when he was a kid also. He was born with a club foot and spinabifida . He is also on the heavy side. I believe that when you go through hard times as a young person it makes you try to be a better person later in life. It just sucks that people have to go through it in the first place.