How to know when it's time

[Sherry]

One thing I've heard over and over again about this subject is that "they will let you know". And yes, I've seen that myself. If you are open to it, you will just "know". That is what frequently happens if your pet has had a long illness.
But what happens if there is a sudden onset of illness? Or if you find yourself incapable of admitting it might indeed be time? Because believe me- that is one of the hardest things a pet owner will ever have to do. Help your baby cross that final bridge. It's also one of the last ways we have to show how much we truly love them.
Below are some quotations from various pet owners, experts, and vets.

[Sherry]

When to say When .....
Preparing for your ferret's final journey

While this is not new information, sometimes it helps to hear it from
someone else who isn't as emotional as the caregiver who loves them
so much & wrestling with such an important decision. This advice more
applies to caring for a hospice ferret and not an unexpected urgent
medical emergency.

For your beloved ferret as with any loved creature, your awareness of
the end drawing near has been heightened, there is no one more in tuned
with your ferret and their needs more than the one that loves them
the most. In your heart you know that no matter how much love and
supportive care you give him that someday soon it will be "the time".

Some people believe that you should go on and on until your ferret can
go on no more. I too used to be of that mind, not wanting to take a day
or an hour or a moment away from them. After running a shelter for many
years and having to make emotional decisions, dealing with crashes and
urgencies in the middle of the night, Sundays, holidays or other times
when my regular vet wasn't available. I was given these words of wisdom
which I share with you.

Don't look at this as taking time away from them, look at this as
making their time comfortable, non-stressful & honoring them by
releasing them before it gets to the point that they are in pain or in
crisis. When the end is drawing near and you know your ferret has one
or more medical issues of which there will be no miracle cure you have
the ability to bring them relief through release. Do not wait until
there is only a dim light in their eye nor maintain them making them
linger. There is a difference between living as a ferret and merely
being alive.

Pick a day when you can see your regular vet, the one your ferret is
used to seeing. Discuss how you want things to be handled and what type
of medication will be given and in what method. Let them know that you
want to be with your ferret (don't let them take him in another room
away from you, ask to be there with them.) Decide what arrangement you
want to make for them afterwards (are you taking them home to make a
special resting place, do you want to arrange cremation, what else is
your preference?) Decide if you want to have someone accompany you,
drive there & where you will go afterwards. Be sure to plan sometime to
grieve & reflect. (There's nothing worse than having to make handle an
urgent situation and have to go back to work).

Cry or do whatever you need to, anything you do is the right thing for
you.

In the day preceding & the day of, take all the extra time with them,
talk to them, cry to them, tell them all the things that they need to
hear, how wonderful your life has been with them and how much you are
the better for knowing them. Let them have special time with their
ferret buddies over a nice bowl of soup, a bit of ferretone or anything
else that they enjoy. At the appointed time, gather the special
blankies, toys or things that they enjoy, bring them outside to smell
the fresh air and look to the sky for the beginning of the journey. At
the vets most have a quiet room. Depending on how you prefer things or
how your vet does things you may have discussed a method that you
prefer (ask for options, perhaps a tiny abdominal injection, a bit of
gas with ferretone in the mask to relax them, certainly not a heart
stick).

Hug your ferret and whisper sweet things to them, tell them how you
will miss them, where they are going and who they will see there. The
last things that they experience should be comfort, warmth and your
whisper in their ears. Let them slowly drift away in your arms. Take a
few minutes after to stroke their fur, hug them and kiss them if you
wish. Afterwards wrap them gently in the special blankie and add their
toy or special snack. If you are bringing them home with you, some
believe it gives their buddies closure to sniff them and realize that
they are gone. Some prefer not to do this, whatever you do is the right
thing for you. If you have arranged for a cremation, either you may
call or have your vet call to arrange this.

Take time to grieve. You are honoring your ferret by doing this &
handling the emotions that come with heartache. Some people go home &
hug their other ferrets, some call a ferret friend to talk, reflect
and grieve, some go for a walk, some pray. Whatever you do or don't
do is the right thing for you.

After a time the sharpness of the pain will dull, it won't hurt every
single minute, then it won't hurt every single hour, then it won't hurt
every single day. Then something will remind you of them, maybe a flash
across the room and you swear you saw them, maybe something will remind
you of a cute thing they used to do, it's ok to smile and laugh with
tears in your eyes.

Remember this ferret came to you to teach you something, to love them
and to help another ferret. Some people prefer to just love their
remaining ferrets, some make a donation to a shelter in their ferret's
name, this is always appreciated, some like to adopt a ferret from a
shelter that deserves a wonderful mom or dad like you. These are my
favorite people!

Hope this information helps or just reinforces what we already know. I
don't have any or all of the answers, just a caring heart, broken and
mended over and over again.

If you would like some help with your decision, to talk to someone, or
to honor your ferret, contact us. We will be adding this to our website
in the weeks to come. Hugs to you all, it's always hard to lose a
ferret, and this time of year is even harder.

Sincerely,Diane Wall at South Shore Ferret Care
[e-mail]
www.southshoreferretcare.org

Diane Wall - South Shore Ferret Care

[Sherry]

www.specialneedspets.org/euthanasia.htm

Choosing Euthanasia for your Pet

Pet Euthanasia is a difficult issue for many people to come to grips with. For most of us, confronting this issue for our pets means confronting fear, guilt, and grief. But I believe that it's an issue we must be ready to face whenever we make a lifetime commitment to a companion animal.

Being informed and prepared is crucial. I strongly recommend that you talk to your veterinarian about pet euthanasia long before it ever becomes in issue for you and your pet. Find out about your options, make some key decisions ahead of time, and ask your vet to add this information to your pet's chart. Some questions you might consider and discuss with your veterinarian are:

* Under what circumstances should you and your vet consider pet euthanasia?
* What will your decision criteria be if and when the time comes?
* What method(s) and/or drug(s) does your veterinarian use for pet euthanasia? (See the "Resources" section below for links to sites that describe a typical euthanasia procedure).
* Do you want to be present when your pet is euthanized?
* Would you prefer a home euthanasia? Is your veterinarian willing to come to your home to euthanize your pet? If not, can s/he refer you to a vet who makes house calls?
* How do you prefer to deal with your pet's remains - burial, cremation, other?

Don't put off making these choices until you are in the middle of a crisis with your pet and are forced to have to make snap decisions while you are distraught. It won't serve you, and it won't serve your pet.

Knowing when it's time to let your pet go: Emotionally speaking, all the preparation in the world is not necessarily going to make the decision any easier when you are faced with a terminally ill or dying pet and are trying to determine if it's time to let your pet go. The decision to euthanize a pet is one of the most personal, and sometimes the most difficult, decisions a caregiver can make. It would be difficult, if not impossible, for me to suggest a "correct" way to make such a decision. I strongly believe that this is a choice that each individual must make for his or her pet.

However, if you are struggling with this decision, you might try asking yourself the following questions:

* Is my pet getting any enjoyment at all from his day to day life, or is his daily existence simply something to be endured, with no real quality of life?
* Do my pet's 'good days' still outnumber the 'bad days', or are the 'good days' rare or nonexistent?
* Is my pet in pain?
* Has my pet stopped eating and drinking?
* What is my vet's opinion?

A well-meaning piece of advice that I have heard over and over again is "your pet will let you know when it's time". Personally, I don't necessarily believe this to be the case. The following essay was written about dogs, but I believe that it applies equally to any companion animal.

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How Do You Know When It's Time?

I don't subscribe to the idea that dogs "will let us know when it's time", at least not in any conscious sense on their part. For one thing, I've found in my years of counseling folks who have ill pets and often accompanying them through the euthanasia process, that this notion is often interpreted in a way that puts a lot of pressure on people when they're already stressed and grief-stricken. "What if I miss the signs? He looked miserable yesterday but not today. What if I act too soon or not soon enough? How could he ever let on that he wants it to end? But maybe I'm deluding myself that he feels better than he does."

Dogs are not people. We lovingly anthropomorphize our dogs during our time together and there's no harm in that, even quite a bit of reward for both them and us. But the bottom line is that they are not people and they don't think in the way people think. (Many of us would argue that that speaks to the superiority of dogs.) These amazing beings love us and trust us implicitly. It just isn't part of their awareness that they should need to telegraph anything to us in order for their needs to be met or their well-being ensured. They are quite sure that we, as their pack leaders, operate only in their best interest at all times. Emotional selfishness is not a concept in dogdom and they don't know how hard we sometimes have to fight against it ourselves.

Dogs also have no mindset for emotional surrender or giving up. They have no awareness of the inevitability of death as we do and they have no fear of it. It is fear that so often influences and aggravates our perceptions when we are sick or dying and it becomes impossible to separate the fear out from the actual illness after a while. But that's not the case with dogs. Whatever we observe to be wrong with our sick dogs, it's all illness. And we don't even see the full impact of that until it's at a very advanced point, because it's a dog's nature to endure and to sustain the norm at all costs. If that includes pain, then that's the way it is. Unlike us, they have never learned that letting pain show, or reporting on it, may generate relief or aid. So they endure, assuming in their deepest doggy subconscious that whatever we abide for them is what is to be abided.

If there is a "look in the eye", or an indication of giving up, that we think we see from our beloved dogs, it isn't a conscious attitude on their part or a decision to communicate something to us. It's just an indication of how tired and depleted they are. But they don't know there's any option other than struggling on, so that's what they do. We must assume that the discomfort we see is much less than the discomfort they really feel. And we do know of other options and it is entirely our obligation to always offer them the best option for that moment, be it further intervention, or none, or the gift of rest.

From the moment we embrace these animals when they first grace our lives, every day is one day closer to the day they must abandon their very temporary and faulty bodies and return to the state of total perfection and rapture they have always deserved. We march along one day at a time, watching and weighing and continuing to embrace and respect each stage as it comes. Today is a good day. Perhaps tomorrow will be, too, and perhaps next week and the weeks or months after. But there will eventually be a winding down. And we must not let that part of the cycle become our enemy.

When I am faced with the ultimate decision about how I can best serve the animal I love so much, I try to set aside all the complications and rationales of what I may or may not understand medically and I try to clear my mind of any of the confusions and ups and downs that are so much a part of caring for a terminally ill pet. This is hard to do, because for months and often years we have been in this mode of weighing hard data, labs, food, how many ounces did he drink, should he have his rabies shot or not, etc. But at some point it's time to put all of that in the academic folder and open the spiritual folder instead. At that point we are wise to ask ourselves the question: "Does he want to be here today, to experience this day in this way, as much as I want him to?"

Remember, dogs are not afraid, they are not carrying anxiety and fear of the unknown. So for them it's only about whether this day holds enough companionship and ease and routine so that they would choose to have those things more than anything else and that they are able to focus on those things beyond any discomfort or pain or frustration they may feel. How great is his burden of illness this day, and does he want/need to live through this day with this burden of illness as much as I want/need him to? If I honestly believe that his condition is such, his pleasures sufficient, that he would choose to persevere, then that's the answer and we press on.

If, on the other hand, I can look honestly and bravely at the situation and admit that he, with none of the fear or sadness that cripples me, would choose instead to rest, then my obligation is clear. Because he needs to know in his giant heart, beyond any doubt, that I will have the courage to make the hard decisions on his behalf, that I will always put his peace before my own, and that I am able to love him as unselfishly as he has loved me.

After many years, and so very many loved ones now living on joyously in their forever home in my heart, this is the view I take. As my veterinarian, who is a good and loving friend, injects my precious one with that freedom elixir, I always place my hand on top of his hand that holds the syringe. He has chosen a life of healing animals and I know how terribly hard it is for him to give up on one. So I want to shoulder that burden with him so he's not alone. The law of my state says the veterinarian is the one licensed to administer the shot, not me. But a much higher law says this is my ultimate gift to my dog and the responsibility that I undertook on the day I welcomed that dog into my life forever.

[Sherry]

pets.webmd.com/features/pet-euthanasia-how-to-know-when-its-time