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Post by taylorlwolf on Nov 29, 2017 0:37:29 GMT -5
Hi everyone. I have a ferret who is four and a half years old; her name is Kota. Kota was diagnosed with bladder cancer only 2 weeks ago. The vet said it appeared that her entire bladder was just one big tumor. He told me the cancer was aggressive, but I didn’t expect to see such decline in just 2 short weeks. Kota has been on Metacam to hopefully reduce the size of her tumor and inflammation. She’s on an antibiotic as well. At first, she was doing pretty well. Her personality was fully intact, and even on Saturday (4 days ago) she was running all around the house and playing. Ever since Sunday, however, things have taken a turn for the worst. Kota has just wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep. Her waist has gotten so skinny, to the point that it seems there’s nothing there. The cancer seems to be affecting her back legs a little as well. Though she can still walk, she doesn’t want to much these past few days, and she seems kind of off balance when she does. She’s only eating and drinking a small amount each day, just enough to get by. She also seems to be losing control of her bladder on some occasions. I picked her up last night and she just peed all over me, but didn’t try to escape my arms or even react to the fact that she went to the bathroom on my shirt. I know this is getting rather lengthy, but my point is, I can tell things are getting the best of her. Just a few moments ago she was staring into space and started shaking a tiny bit, like she was cold. I have been holding her since in attempt to warm and comfort her. It’s hard to find resources about ferrets with bladder cancer, as it seems relatively rare. I was hoping someone who has experienced similar things could tell me... when is it time for me to let her go? I am conflicted because she tries to eat and drink, and today when I got home she was alert in her cage and stood on her hind legs with her paws on the cage bars as she wanted to come out. When I give her a water bottle to chew on (her favorite toy), she will bite on it and shake her head around so long as her body doesn’t have to move much. Things like this make me think she wants to fight, but all the other symptoms that seem so horrid make me wonder if I’m being selfish in prolonging her days. If your ferret had bladder cancer, what did the end look like? Or if your ferret experienced a similar decline, how did you know it was time to let go and put him/her to sleep? I am a 19 year old college student, and I haven’t experienced putting any animals down in my lifetime besides a childhood dog when I was only 8 years old. I just don’t know how to feel or what to do, so any advice would be appreciated.
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Post by abbeytheferret6 on Nov 29, 2017 6:40:47 GMT -5
I am terribly sorry about your ferret's condition. Saying goodbye to our little babies is so hard. I had to put my Abbey to sleep this year.
Personally, I feel that we should put them to sleep before they experience that devastating, last event. It will be more painful on them. Since you know there is no hope, u can pick a day to have a final loving time with her. Make it special for you and her in some way. I was not able to do this with my Abbey. Her tumor burst and she bled internally. Her little nose lost all its pinkish color. She did not have the strength to climb that day. She would put her front legs on something and just flop down. When I got to vet, the tech noticed her nose was white. Her blood count was so low it was extreme. The sad thing about it all, I did not even know she had a tumor on her liver that could have been removed. She did not run and play and slept a lot. I attributed symptoms to her age(6.5).
Again, I am so sorry. Hugs to you and your Kota.
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Post by Sherry on Nov 29, 2017 12:20:24 GMT -5
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Post by unclejoe on Nov 29, 2017 18:15:22 GMT -5
I have to agree, tho I know she's yours and not mine. We just had to put Rosa down with skin cancer. She was still getting around and eating and drinking fine, but she would shiver when we picked her up and her tumors looked so painful. They were very aggressive and grew out of control in the 2 weeks we debated whether they could be due to adrenal to the point where we had to let her go. I feel for you.
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Post by caitmonster on Nov 29, 2017 20:57:29 GMT -5
Terribly sorry for you and Kota I also had to decide to euthanize my little girl earlier this year, and agree that it's better to do so sooner rather than unnecessarily prolonging a worsening condition. My Monster had an aggressive onset of lymphoma in her chest--actually thought to be thymoma, since it didn't respond to steroids. I saw how quickly she went downhill (over the span over a few weeks), and at 6.5 years old, I didn't want to put her through what would have been a very invasive surgery. If it helps, remember that animals don't think about the future, they only live in the moment, which is obviously what we love about them So, if they are hurting now, and YOU know that due to whatever they are experiencing they will continue to hurt, then truly loving them also means releasing them from it. Sadly that means that we then feel the pain of loss, but at least we've done the right thing by them.
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Post by Heather on Nov 30, 2017 2:16:47 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. I have dealt with bladder cancer in a ferret, I'm really sorry for you both. It isn't common but it does happen. Times lines vary from ferret to ferret. Her unable to control her body temp, her bladder, her back legs...these are all progression signs. You have the power and unfortunately the responsibility. That's a lonely place, I know . No one here can tell you when but look into her eyes and they will tell you when her body is too sore and too tired to go on. The day when she stops eating, refusing her favourite dinner is often the end of the end but sometimes, especially in cancers, it comes before that. Think about what you would want someone to do for you if you were in that position or if nothing else, take advice from an old friend of mine when I asked this same question....."when I can no longer be a ferret, love like a ferret, make mischief like a ferret, then hold me close, kiss me goodbye and let me start on my next adventure....I will stay if you want me to because my love for you is that great, but please allow me my freedom to be as I was meant to be" Always remember, she will always be with you because as anyone can tell you, when a ferret leaves, they take a piece of your heart with them ciao
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Post by lyles on Nov 30, 2017 12:09:49 GMT -5
I feel for you, I still remember the times when I had to have ferrets euthanized and I held them as they passed away, it is very hard, as if holding your dying baby.
We have to continuously remind ourselves that although animals struggle for survival, they do not fear death, nor have ideas about an afterlife. What matters with them is their quality of life while alive. As long as you spend time with them, give them good food and a good place to stay then they couldn't be happier.
With this in mind it can help the grieving process.
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Post by taylorlwolf on Nov 30, 2017 18:01:14 GMT -5
Hi everyone. I just want to thank you all for the replies over the past few days. Every one of you has helped me tremendously with my decision. It really made me feel much better and less alone. Yesterday I called the vet and scheduled an appointment to euthanize Kota today. Her appointment was for 4:30 this afternoon. I left Kota this morning around 7:30am to go to my classes and she was doing alright, but when I came home from class at around 11:45am she was already gone. She had passed, I believe in her sleep, in her cage. Though I am so upset that I couldn’t be there for her final moment, I know in my heart that she would be more comfortable passing at home the way that she did. I don’t think she wanted me to have to make the decision for her and struggle through witnessing it, though I had prepared myself for it as best as I could. I was beating myself up about not just taking her in for euthanization yesterday, but I wasn’t ready at the time and felt good about her appointment being today so we could have one last night together. Luckily I held her for a long time last night and we had a deep conversation about how much I love her, will miss her, and where she’s going and how much she has impacted me. I had said goodbye in my own way so many times leading up to today, that I think hopefully she knew how much I love her even though I unfortunately was not present for her last breath like I so badly wanted to be. My parents said they think it’s better she went on her own in her sleep because she probably didn’t want me to have to suffer through putting her down myself, and they said she was probably much more comfortable not being in an unfamiliar place & getting to go on her own terms. I am hoping they’re right, though I can’t help but feel such a deep sadness that I couldn’t hold her as she went. I had no idea that she wouldn’t be able to make it to her appointment just 5 hours later or I never would’ve gone to class. I am forever going to miss her but I know she’s not hurting anymore and is in a better place. Thank you again to all who have helped me come to terms, and any feedback and advice with moving on and grieving would be much appreciated as well.
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Post by LindaM on Nov 30, 2017 18:58:24 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss of this wee angel. I think the talk you had with her allowed her to make HER decision in finally letting go, that she no longer had to fight or struggle, but that you would understand why she has to go. I am sure she was very grateful for this, and for all the time she had with you in her life and the care you had given her. Do not blame yourself for any of this. Take the time you need to grieve her, cry for her as much as you need, don't let others tell you how to, how much to.. or when it's enough. It is not their sorrow, and while we can support each other, our sorrows are not all the same. But you are not alone in this either. If you need to talk to others about her, talk as much as you need to. Never bottle up feelings. When it is time.. in your heart, you will know. Time is the best healer of all. Remember this wee sweetheart at her best, not sickly and at her worst, remember her how she'd want to be remembered by you. Keep her memory in your heart, even as you eventually move on with life. DIP wee darling. Gentle journey to the Bridge, may you make friends with all the other fuzzies who are crossing it right now.
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Post by unclejoe on Nov 30, 2017 20:08:55 GMT -5
I'm really sorry for your loss. It is never easy, but as a hooman we sometimes must make these decisions to prevent further suffering. Twice I have left home with a fert going to the vet to be pts and they passed in the car, once in my arms in the parking lot at the vet's and once in the exam room. A couple times they passed the night before. It's sad to say that as you gain experience with pets you start to know the signs. DIP Kota... Say hi to Rosa and Pandora who went to the Bridge this year to wait for you
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Post by abbeytheferret6 on Dec 1, 2017 4:50:21 GMT -5
Dook In Peace little Kota
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Post by Sherry on Dec 1, 2017 10:57:21 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss But I agree with Linda. You let her know you were ready to finally let her go, so she was able to let go. DIP little one, fly high and free.
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Post by Heather on Dec 1, 2017 23:55:05 GMT -5
You told her what you were going to do, that you released her from her obligations to you, that you were going to help her find her freedom and help her make that journey. You freed her. She said her goodbye to you that evening during your heart to heart and she turned to the never for her release. She was a strong mindful little sprite, she knew she was more than strong enough to stay if you had asked it of her, but you didn't. You selflessly offered her, her wings, she took those knowing it would hurt you much less to have to witness any further discomfort that she might have to suffer. Her gift to you, was to release you from the obligation of making the decision to take a life. Some day you will have to make that choice but it was not going to be her responsibility, not this time. Her heartkey earned, she's continued with her adventure. A travelling candle is lit to guide little paws onto their next great adventure. Gentle journey little one, fly high and free, visit often. Someday, sometime you will both meet again, until then she will dance and dook with friends, playing in the moonbeams ciao
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Post by taylorlwolf on Dec 2, 2017 1:17:38 GMT -5
Thank you all so much for the feedback. I am so happy that I stumbled upon this forum, which is full of so many kindhearted people like you all. This grieving process is so difficult, but the advice you guys have given me has gotten me through these past few days and given me strength where there otherwise would be none. It’s only been about 36 hours or so since Kota passed on, but I feel her absence so so deeply. She truly was the sweetest little girl in the world. When my family and I took her body to the vet’s office after she passed (as I wanted to have her privately cremated & a clay imprint of her paw print made), the vet tech told me that Kota was honestly the sweetest ferret she had ever encountered in all of her years at the office. She said Kota gave them all so many snuggles when she had been briefly hospitalized on fluids there once before a few months ago, and she brought everyone so much joy. This really warmed my heart and I truly appreciated her saying this and seeming so sincere. I can’t help but feel guilty that I had just left my apartment prior to Kota’s passing, though I know there’s no way I could have known she’d go on her own time just shortly after. I merely told her that I loved her, gave her a brief kiss, and said I’d see her as soon as I returned home after lunch. The only thing giving me solace is the fact that I had such a deep conversation with her the night before, laying out all of my thoughts and feelings and holding her so close in such a special moment. Though I would’ve mainly told her to remember all the things I said, it would have meant so much to me to be present at her time of death. I know I must move on from this one day though, as it’s unhealthy to hold onto these feelings of guilt. She will forever live on in my heart, and I have countless photos and memories that attest to how wonderful and special she was and always will be. I also wanted to apologize to all of you for the special little ones that you have lost throughout the years; it breaks my heart to know that we have all grieved such special little creatures that undoubtedly took pieces of our hearts with them as well. However, we were all so lucky to have such close bonds with our ferrets and to have known and loved them so deeply. I hope Kota can hear me and is listening when I speak out now, telling her how much I love and miss her. It is such a weird feeling not having her around, and though I have definitely cried about one hundred times, I know she would want me to be happy and remember all the good times. 4.5 years just seemed much too short for such a pure and innocent baby girl.
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Post by Sherry on Dec 2, 2017 10:01:20 GMT -5
We all truly understand that guilt. And time has given me the chance to realize that their gift to us is passing once we leave. Those I believe are the truly peaceful passings. They have made their choice, and let go with no guilt nor looking back. The grief...it is horrendous. Loosing one of these angels is absolutely devastating, beyond any other animal I have lost over the years. If you need to vent, or just an ear to listen we will be here.
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